AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Occasionally something, a thought, an experience, maybe a person will spark a bit of music that will burst into my head. Then it’s like it simmers in the back of my brain until complete. If for some reason I don’t write it down, the notes will haunt me, distract me from everything else until I do. If there’s words associated with the music, it’s even more important I empty my brain as soon as possible.
“One tune I can manage. Occasionally there’s two competing for completion.”
“I still don’t understand. What does that have to do with how I found you today?” She climbs onto the stool next to me and after a moment’s hesitation, rests one of her hands over mine.
I angle to face her. “That need to compose is all encompassing, consuming. It’s like something, some compulsion, takes over my brain, my body. I can’t do anything else until the song is done. When it’s just one or two, that’s not usually a problem. This time… ah, Bailey, this time there were four songs woven together. Four. Complete with varied musical tracks, and lyrics. It’s the worst when words come, too. The cacophony in my brain is deafening. It keeps pounding at me until I can’t think of anything else. The music possesses me. Controls me until I empty everything onto paper.
I can’t sleep. Don’t eat unless there’s food I can just grab. I am unable to function otherwise.”
“Does this happen often?”
I carefully shake my head. There’s still enough wooziness at the edges of my consciousness I need to be careful. “Only once before this.”
“Do you have any idea what causes music to take over everything like that?”
“I think,” I say slowly, “I think when there’s only a single song, it might be because I was ignoring the initial spark of inspiration. When there’s more than one, it’s emotional.” I pause and consider my words, remembering how many powerful emotions I’d dealt with when Mars started using. “Intense feelings.”
Bailey tucks her fingers under my hand and gives a soft squeeze. “Do you know what might have precipitated this, umm, attack of creativity?”
I do, but I’m sure as fuck not going to tell her right now. That would chase her away again. “Yes, but I need time to process before I say anything, if that’s okay?”
She smiles. “Of course. I totally understand.”
Does she? Probably. Everyone has secrets.
The microwave dings, effectively ending this conversation. After another squeeze of my fingers, she rises and circles the island. A shiver of longing runs down my spine. I need her skin against mine, even the tiniest bit. I want to experience all of her, touch every inch. Imprint her on my soul.
Another melody dances at the edge of my consciousness and I cover my face with my hands and groan.
“Mars? What’s wrong?”
I will not allow the compulsion to overtake me again. Not where she will witness the craziness. Where’s my music? In the bathroom. I need… “I need my music. On the floor in the bathroom.”
“Wait here. I’ll get it for you.”
She’s gone in a flash and returns in seconds to lay the folio in front of me. “Now what?”
“Pencil?”
She whirls and digs through one of the smaller kitchen drawers and pulls out an open package of disposable pencils then dumps them all over the counter. Standing back, she watches with wide eyes.
I dig through the folio and find one half sheet of stave lined manuscript paper. “Not enough,” I mumble as I reach for a pencil and the notes begin spilling onto the page. I’m cramming notes together on the second side when a sheet of white paper filled with crooked and unevenly spaced staves slides into my narrowed view.
My hand shakes with the need to continue composing as I glance up to see Bailey using a ruler to create the lines needed to contain my music. I watch her rush through lining the paper and certainty fills my heart. I know what I already suspected. She is my muse. My destiny. The woman I will love until forever ends.
I flip the paper I’ve already filled with oval dots and scrawl the song’s title. “Until Forever Ends”. The lyrics are still hidden from me. I know I will hear them soon. All of the music I’ve composed the past four days has been inspired by her. There will be more. A lifetime of more.
Mars has been wanting to do an entire album with a ballad style. But I don’t know if I want to share this music with him. Or with the world.
That’s a decision I’ll make later. Once Bailey knows how I feel. Knows the music is for her, about her. It will be her decision whether to share my love, and hopefully our love, with the world. If she says no, then these notes will go no further. Mars and his next album be damned.
Once I accept my feelings and my love for Bailey, the static and frantic agitation eases. I take a deep breath. Then another before setting the pencil aside.
Bailey pauses in her line drawing. “Are you okay?”
Closing my eyes, I search my mind and find quiet and an odd contentment. I look at her and nod. “I think so. The compulsion is gone for now.”
“How long until it returns?” Worry draws her brows together and tightens her lips to a flat line.
