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“We had a fight.” I shrugged, trying to downplay what had driven me here. “Kind of a regular occurrence.”
Grace’s next words caught me off guard. “We never fought when we were together.”
“No, we didn’t,” I agreed, a bit taken aback by the direction of our conversation.
“I didn’t challenge you the way she does.”
Her choice of words made me pause. “What do you mean?”
She stopped her work on the saddle, choosing her next words carefully. “I loved you, but I think if we had stayed together, stayed here, we would’ve been just … stuck. You know? Going our separate ways was hard, but I was so happy that you left. You got away from here, got away from your dad. You needed to do that. Kinsley might be a little pushy, but I think you need that too. I think she’s good for you.” She resumed her polishing. “And that’s an opinion you did not ask for.”
Her honesty took me by surprise. “Sometimes, I feel like I’m still stuck. Like the hole I’m in is too deep, and I can’t climb my way out.”
“Let someone lower a rope,” she suggested.
After I let Alice feed me until I was ready to burst, I asked to borrow a horse to go for a ride. I did my best thinking on the back of a horse, and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, Grace’s words had struck a chord.
“Do you want company?” Grace watched me saddle up.
“Maybe next time. I want to clear my head a bit.”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Don’t go out too far,” Mr. Harper said, coming into the barn. “There are some dark clouds rolling in. Might be a decent storm.”
“I didn’t think they were calling for any weather.”
“Yeah, it came up a bit unexpectedly, but God knows we need the rain.”
“I noticed your pastures were looking a little sparse.”
“It’s been a few dry years, and we don’t have enough grazing land.”
My stomach was suddenly heavy and not because of the meal I had devoured. “I’ll be back in about an hour.” I led the big bay horse down the aisle.
“Have fun,” Mr. Harper said.
Grace waved from inside one stall.
Once outside, I mounted up and urged the horse forward into a brisk walk. The air hung heavy and thick with humidity as I guided the horse through the back field behind the barn. The sky above was a canvas of shifting greys and ominous clouds. The air crackled with energy, and the distant rumble of thunder echoed in the distance.
As we moved, my horse’s hooves stirred up the earth, releasing the fragrance of sun-baked soil mixed with the green undertones of nearby pastures.
Grace’s words circled my mind.
‘I think she’s good for you.’
How was that possible when we fought so much? We’d broken up how many times now? Obviously, we didn’t work as a couple.
That thought left a bitter taste in my mouth.
If I was being honest, I don’t think I could ever walk away from Kinsley. I’d tried, and it never took. Even now, I’d been gone a day, and I missed her so much that my chest ached.
But even when she was here, when I’d brought her home to my farm, it didn’t feel right. Her being here made me feel like I was dragging her into my past, and I didn’t like it. She didn’t belong here, and I was starting to think I didn’t either.
Thunder rumbled overhead. I had been out there for at least an hour or more, and the wind had picked up, my horse’s mane getting blown and tangled. I turned him and headed back in the direction I’d come.
More thunder crackled. The storm was coming in a lot faster than I’d thought.
