Page 34 of Ataraxia


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“Since our coffee date…” I grimaced.

“You two haven’t spoken since your date over two weeks ago, and are you just now bringing him up?” She guffawed.

“Yes?” I hesitated, answering it more like a question. A long pause fell between us, and Madison slowly raised an accusing brow at me.

“Oh. Oh no. You care now,” She gawked and covered her mouth with her hands. “You think he’s no longer interested in you anymore, and it bothers you!” She was jumping around at my embarrassment like she just won the ‘I told you so’ lottery.

“Yes, and no, I’m concerned that I blew my shot with him because I am too stubborn to admit that I am more interested in him than I’ve ever been with someone before.” I began to ramble, throwing my hands in the air.

“So what’s the issue? Message him? What’s stopping you?” She gave me a confused look, as if the answer was just that simple and I was overcomplicating things.

“He told me he wanted me to… beg for him,” I mumbled under my breath.

Madison cackled like a mad woman and ran over to the couch, throwing a pillow into my face.

“No way, he what?!” She exclaimed and laughed even harder. My face flushed with embarrassment. “Okay, but seriously, girl. Just reach out to him. He was all over you when you first met, and if you are still thinking about him, I am sure as hell he is still obsessing over you.”

She sat down next to me, and I straightened myself, hugging the fluffy pillow that she had shoved into my face. I sighed deeply, pulled my phone out of my pocket, and stared at the screen.

“Well… go on. What are you waiting for? He’s not going to bite you… Or is he into that?” She giggled and urged me on.

“Madison!… What do I even say?” I sighed as I unlocked my phone, pulling up our last messaging thread. I can’t believe I am going to do this, that I will be the one to break first.

“Just be honest with him. I know it’s hard for you, but clearly, you let him in enough to keep thinking about him instead of moving on as if he were old news.” She rubbed my arm and gave me a soft smile. “Let go… embrace the feelings for once. Go with the flow, for fuck sake.”

She was right, as per usual. I nodded and got up from the couch, placing my phone back into my back pocket.

“I’ll think it over at work tonight and message him when I get home.”

“Atta girl. Proud of you.” She beamed and stood to give me a hug. “Let me know how it goes.”

“I will, thanks Mads.”

I hugged her back and then left, heading to my apartment to quickly get ready for a long night of work at Austin’s Bar.

“Baby girl! Get your ass behind the bar; we are getting slammed tonight.” Austin shouted as I entered the crowded bar. I couldn’t help but chuckle and smile when he called me that. For some reason, I found it cute and not annoying when it came from him.

I made my way through the growing line of customers at the bar and slipped behind the counter. I threw my purse into one of the bottom cabinets and wrapped my apron around my waist. I was wearing denim shorts and a hot pink crop tank tonight. I tucked my flat bar into my black sweatband, which I kept on my left forearm for easy access to open bottles.

Saturdays always got a little crazy during the summer, especially when a Twins game finished, and the crowd from it filtered into the downtown bars.

Tonight, Austin wanted to run a special on Bud Light and Coors buckets, so we were popping bottle caps all over the bar for a good chunk of the night. If I didn’t see another beer bottle after tonight, I would be more than okay with that.

Around ten, I overheard a lot of yelling and arguing coming from the end of the bar. I could briefly see that a man was getting a little too aggressive with a woman near him—she clearly was not interested in any of his advances, and he wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer.

Abso-fucking-lutely not.

“Hey, Austin.” I jerked my chin in their direction, and he nodded.

“Get ‘em, baby girl.” A devilish smirk on his face. He knew what I was going to do, and he was ready for a good show from it. Austin doesn’t take shit lightly in his bar when it comes to men harassing women, and everyone knows it—except for this guy, apparently, and he was about to be updated on how we ran things around here.

I gave a sadistic grin and reached under the bar, grabbing a metal baseball bat. I slammed the bat loudly on the counter, creating a loud bang, which caused the entire bar to go quiet. The only sound that could be heard was the music playing over the speakers.

This was my favorite part.

I only got to do this once last week, but it was so worth it.

As I had the full attention of everyone in the bar, I climbed up onto the counter. I stared down the man at the end of the bar, pointing the bat's cap directly at him with a savage sneer on my face.

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