Page 31 of Ataraxia


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When he finally looked over and caught my gaze, he pushed off the wall and made his way towards me. I couldn’t help the subtle grin that tugged its way out at the corner of my mouth.

“Well, good morning, sweet thing.” His nickname for me always ignited a fire whenever he said it. It was different and made this thing—whatever it was—between us all the more real. His voice dripped honey, and his cheek dimpled when he gave me that perfect smile of his. Fuck me, he’s magnificent.

He held his hand out to me, and I took it without hesitation. The moment our hands touched, my breath left my body.

“Morning, Atlas.” My composure was slowly slipping away. Why did he have such an effect on me?

“Shall we?” He gestured to the door, and I nodded, allowing him to lead me in to order our drinks, my hand firmly held by his.

Once inside, we both ordered the same drink: a nitro cold brew with salted, sweet cream foam. With our drinks in hand, we strolled through the sculpture garden instead of sitting outside on the makeshift patio.

The sculpture garden was beautiful, with lush green grass, bright flowers, and the blue sky reflecting off the small ponds. The park wasn’t very busy this morning, giving us much more privacy and freedom to roam the paths. On a busier day, it was harder to walk through the park and enjoy its beauty when it was crowded and people were taking photos in front of the various sculptures. I understood the novelty of it, but it was also annoying trying to navigate around so many people. If I wanted to do that by choice, I would go to the state fair.

“So… tell me more about yourself.” He hit the ground running with that question. Although, I knew what he was really asking.

“Like what?” I took a sip of my coffee and looked up at the sky. There were only a few clouds, otherwise, it was a beautiful sunny day.

“How about starting with your friends and family?” He gazed at me as we strolled alongside each other, our shoulders occasionally touching. I hummed as I considered what I was going to say. I had never really talked about my family to anyone; I never really needed to.

“Well, let’s see… There is Madison, who gave you my number at the nightclub. She’s my best friend; we’re practically sisters at this point. And then there is Alexis, who is also one of my best friends, but we aren’t as close as Madison and I. We fought tooth and nail when we first met.” The memory of Alexis and I pulling a chunk of hair out of each other’s scalp, fighting over the last shot of Malibu rum, caused me to laugh.

“What about your parents?” He asked.

“What about them?” I shrugged coolly, not really wanting to talk about them—to open up to him just yet.

“Do you see them often?” He pressed.

“I don’t want to talk about my parents right now. What about you? Friends?” I blew out a sigh, desperate to change the subject.

I hoped he would get the hint and not press me any further. The story of my parents was for me and me alone. Madison has never even heard the story from me.

“I’ve got a few back home, but here it’s Derek. He and I go way back, back as far as our college years. He was transferred here six months ago, and I decided to follow him when the opportunity came.” He took a long sip of his coffee.

“You followed him? Are you two?…” I raised a brow in question.

I hope I am wrong because I don’t share… with anyone. I wanted Atlas for myself.

“No, no, no. It’s not like that.” He chuckled and almost spat out his mouthful. “I followed him because he’s my best friend, and I needed the change in scenery. He’s like a brother to me.” I couldn’t help but smile, knowing he was mine for the taking.

The more we talked and spent time together, the more I wanted him all to myself. Even though he told me he was single at the nightclub, that didn’t necessarily mean he wasn’t interested in someone else.

Again, my mind was at war with itself over him. Do I let whatever this is continue, or do I stop everything and run for the hills right now? It is not like he knows where I live. I could disappear to the other side of the city, and he would never see me again. I mean, he does know my name—my real name—but that isn’t a huge issue.

What would Madison do? I’ll tell you what she would do. She would tell me to quit being a complete pussy and enjoy him—all of him.

Realizing that I had been quiet for way too long, I stopped us under the shade of a large willow tree, holding my hands up to him. I need to be clear with him right now before this goes beyond the point of no return for either of us.

“Look… Atlas. I don’t know what it is you are loo—”

He cut me off, stepping into me and backing me up against the trunk of the willow, the cascading branches covering us from the view of anyone else in the park—not like there were many eyes to hide from, regardless.

My back pressed into the trunk as he caged me in against the tree, his strong and toned arms resting on the bark on either side of my head. My breath caught as my eyes locked on to his, and I began drowning in his searing gaze. Those fucking eyes.

Atlas had me in a chokehold; I was weak for him. The alluring scent of cedar and spice washed over me, his scent. I could bury my face in his shirt and breathe him in for days.

He leaned in, his lips brushing the shell of my ear and his warm breath causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up.

“What I’m looking for is you, and now that I’ve found you, I’m not going to let you go—“ His voice was silky smooth, sending a shiver down my spine. I could feel my core begin to pulse at his words—and when did I start holding my breath? “And if you make me chase you, I hope you wear good running shoes.” Lord help me…

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