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My mind keeps drifting back to the small packet in my purse, the promise of relief it holds. I’ve become more dependent on drugs over the past year. It feels like I’m losing control, and every day it gets harder to resist. What started as a way to cope for a short while, has turned into a necessity, and I’m scared of where this path is leading me. I fidget with my clothing, the urge to leave growing stronger and stronger.
I force myself to finish my meal, making polite conversation with Andrew as best as I can.
When I’m finally done, I excuse myself and go to the bathroom, ignoring his eyes on my back.
My heart is pounding in my chest. The white tile floor seems to sway beneath me as I lock the door behind me. I reach into my purse, fingers trembling as they fumble for the baggy. Just one line, I tell myself, just to take the edge off.
I lean over the sink, my reflection distorted in the mirror. With a shaky hand, I prepare the line and inhale sharply. The familiar rush floods my senses, momentarily drowning out the guilt and anguish clawing at me. I don’t know how much time passes while I let myself float in the euphoria, a moment when everything is okay, everything is bearable and good.
But it fades so quickly, and I crash hard. The emptiness and shame rush in with a vengeance, worse than before. My highs don’t last as long as they used to, leaving me chasing bliss more desperately each time.
What am I doing? I can’t keep doing this to myself. I think of Andrew, out there, waiting for me. I can’t face him like this.
Panic hits me, and I flush the baggy down the toilet, a futile attempt to erase the evidence of my weakness. I open the door of the bathroom, and there he is, leaning against the opposite wall with that infuriating smirk on his face.
I freeze before trying to brush past him, but he blocks my path, eyes narrowing as they take in my dilated pupils.
“What were you doing in there?”
“Nothing,” I lie, my throat dry and constricted.
His lips widen into a knowing grin, and before I can react, he pins me against the wall, body pressing into mine.
“You’re lying,” he hisses, his breath hot against my ear. “I can see it in your eyes.”
Fear wells up inside me, and I push against him, desperate to break free, but he only tightens his grip.
“Let me go,” I plead, my voice cracking.
He just laughs, the sound echoing in the small space, mocking and cruel.
My vision blurs, thoughts scattering like leaves in the wind. I’m trapped. Trapped between the wall and Andrew, between guilt and the drugs.
I writhe against him, my movements frantic as I try to break free from his grasp. But Andrew’s hold only tightens, his fingers digging into my arms like claws.
“You’re a druggy, aren’t you? Do you think I haven’t noticed what you’ve become,” he sneers, his words like venom in my ear.
I shake my head, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. “No, Andrew, please.”
He doesn’t listen. Instead, he leans in closer, his breath hot against my skin as he tries to kiss me. I turn my head away, my stomach churning with revulsion.
“Stop it,” I whimper.
He ignores me, hands roaming over my body, greedy and possessive. “I’ve had enough of waiting. And it’s your duty to give me an heir.”
I fight against him, nails scratching at his skin as he slides his hands under my shirt, and I thank myself for not wearing something easily accessible.
“So, you like it when that fucker Dion chokes you and fucks you against an alley wall, but you can’t do the same for your fiancé?”
My blood runs cold, and a wave of nausea washes over me.
“Oh, Aria,” he chuckles, the sound harsh and grating. “You’re a little poutána for everyone except me.”
I close my eyes, trying to block out the memory of that day behind the café, of Dion’s hands on my skin, his lips on mine. It was a mistake, a moment of weakness I’ve been trying to forget. But now, with Andrew’s words hanging in the air between us, I realize that it’s not something I can just erase.
I struggle to break free, to escape the suffocating grip of his hold. It’s becoming harder and harder to breathe.
Andrew has tried to come onto me before, but never like this. It’s never been this intense or aggressive. Usually, it doesn’t go beyond a few suggestive comments or lingering looks. But this time is different. The change in him is crazy. Ever since he found out about me and Dion, it’s like he’s a completely different person, and it’s unsettling.
