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Vaughn stepped forward. “So it’s my fault. I’ll run to the store and buy some.”
Mom suddenly smiled and walked over to pinch his cheeks. “You were always such a good boy. Even when you weren’t. I already sent your dad. I had to get him out of my hair. He wouldn’t stop talking about his new girlfriend. I’m starting to think he made her up.”
“Does your neighbor always scowl like that?” Fisher nodded to the neighbor who’d been staring the whole time we were outside and lifted his hand in a wave. “Oh, shit. Here she comes.”
The woman was a new neighbor that I didn’t recognize and from the look on her face, she wasn’t very happy about us. “There are children in this neighborhood and what’s happening here is shameful.”
My mom was a lot of things. She was wildly inappropriate, way too into talking about sex, my most loyal supporter, and she was one hundred percent momma bear. She was wearing a frilly pink apron and had her hair curled to perfection, all while wearing a pair of heels that I would’ve died in. She looked like the picture of a lady that I was sure our neighbor expected. Until she opened her mouth.
“Look here, lady. If you think you’re going to come into my yard and judge my daughter and her boyfriends, you’re sadly mistaken.” Mom yanked off her apron and marched closer to the woman. “I suggest you take your shitty ass attitude and your bad perm back home before you piss me off. Shameful. Ha! What’s shameful is your lack of ability to see something you don’t like and shut the fuck up.”
“I see all the men coming and going at all hours of the night. It’s no wonder she turned out like she did. Slut. You need Jesus.” The woman’s face had gone bright red. “And watch your language!”
I hurried after Mom and wrapped my arm around her waist. “Okay, let’s not go to jail on Thanksgiving for beating up an old lady, Mom.”
“Ma’am, I think maybe you should go back in your house before my girlfriend’s mom opens up a can of whoop-ass on you. I think your open ignorance and pride in that ignorance is pushing her buttons.” Booth had silently moved across the yard and put himself between Mom and the neighbor. “Also, Jesus doesn’t like ugly.”
“And in case my buddy’s kind suggestion doesn’t cut it for you, here it is with a little more directness.” Vaughn crossed his arms and stood next to Booth. “Beat it. Your opinion isn’t wanted and if you call my girlfriend or her mom a slut again I’m going to let her take a few swings at you.”
Fisher was all grins as he picked both me and Mom up to carry us towards the house. “I feel like I never left Florida at all.”
Mom flipped off her neighbor as we were carried away like rowdy toddlers. “If she calls my daughter a slut one more time I’m going to go Florida Man all over that lady!”
I couldn’t help laughing. It was the most ridiculous fight ever but seeing my support system in action was heart-warming. “To be fair, I think she was calling you a slut.”
“You’re not too old to spank, Ella Rae Daughton. It was definitely you she was calling a slut.” Mom patted Fisher’s arm when he put us down inside the house. “Wow. You’re strong.”
I sniffed the air and frowned. “Mom? Is something burning?”
“Fuck!” Mom took off towards the kitchen, grumbling all the way. “Stupid woman. Made me burn my Thanksgiving dinner. I should get a dog and let it shit in her yard every day. My damn green bean casserole is ruined and she’s worried about my language and who I screw. There are more important things in the world, asshole!”
Fisher’s grin stretched from ear to ear. “This is the best Thanksgiving ever.”
61
***Ella***
The casserole wasn’t salvageable. I stared at the place it would’ve sat on the table and sighed. It was my favorite part and our rude neighbor had ruined it.
“I swear to god, Ella, if you don’t stop sighing over that green bean casserole, I’m going to kick our neighbor’s door in and lose my shit on her.” Mom shoved the sweet potatoes at me. “I’ll make you one for Christmas. A personal one, just for her.”
“Do you think she has green bean casserole?”
Paul cleared his throat. “Ellie, you’re going to get your mother locked up for murder if you don’t give it a rest. How about we go around and talk about what we’re grateful for? It’s cheesy but I’d suggest smoking crack right now if I thought it would lower your mother’s blood pressure.”
“My blood pressure is fine. Everything is fine. I’m just thinking of ways to get back at that woman.” Mom saw Paul shake his head and shoved a piece of turkey into her mouth. “I’m super grateful that I didn’t burn the turkey.”
“There you go.” Paul looked to me. “Ellie?”
I sat up straighter and smiled at Mom. “I’m grateful that I have a mom who’d literally fist fight someone for insulting me. And even if the green bean casserole got burned, I’m grateful for the leftover bag of dried onions.”
“Okay. Vaughn. Your turn.” Paul pointed to his son with his glass of wine clutched firmly in his hand.
“Sorry if mine isn’t as sour as the first two.” Vaughn laughed as both me and Mom shot him a dirty look. “I’m grateful to be here. I wasn’t sure I would be.”
The green bean casserole was forgotten. I reached under the table and took his hand. “That’s really sweet. I’m grateful you’re here, too.”
“I’m grateful that you didn’t give up on us. And for you, Ms. Daughton, for being so accepting of us. Sure, you made us pick through pecans for hours, but we deserved that.” Booth cleared his throat. “I’ve had to spend every Thanksgiving away from my mom because of football and normally I spend the day feeling like shit. Like crap, I mean. Today hasn’t been like that at all.”
