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46
***Ella***
In true chicken fashion, I stayed away from the house all day. I left campus and walked around for a while before Paul called me. He wanted to take me to lunch so I let him. I did my very best to act normal while picking at a club sandwich and listening to him talk about a new woman he was seeing. I even rode with him when he had to meet one of his lawyers to sign some paperwork. I was doing anything to avoid going home and facing the mess I’d made.
I spent the whole day wishing Vaughn would show up to see his dad. I wanted him to appear so I could apologize. I’d panicked and acted without really thinking. If I’d taken some time to calm down I never would’ve been so cruel to him. I wouldn’t have called him a mistake. I didn’t feel that way. I was just scared. Having Paul show up and talk about me like I really was still his kid had freaked me out. I needed to find Vaughn and explain that to him but I was worried he wouldn’t care what I had to say. I was worried I’d messed everything up.
Paul noticed I was being weird when he tried to drive me home and I nearly chained myself to his passenger seat. Instead of forcing me to talk about what was going on right away, he drove to his hotel and we sat in the lobby. He waited for me to say something for so long that I finally cracked. Only, once again, I didn’t say what I really felt. Or what was even on my mind.
“It’s weird that you still call me your daughter.”
He sat back in the understuffed lobby chair and raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”
I shifted in my seat, more than a little uncomfortable. “We barely talk. I left Penn and you didn’t know. I mean, you were only married to my mom for a few years. You don’t really think of me as your daughter. If you did, you’d be in my life more. Do you do it just to try to make me feel better about not having a dad?”
Paul cleared his throat and shook his head. “Okay. I can’t say I saw this conversation coming.”
I shrugged. “Sorry. Just forget I said anything. I’m just in a weird mood.”
“No.” He sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “Ella, your mom was parent enough to make up for your dad being a piece of shit. That woman didn’t give you a chance to suffer with daddy issues. Me calling you my daughter isn’t some pity move I make out of guilt for leaving your mom. I guess I deserve your skepticism, though. I don’t call enough. I barely call at all. Maybe it’s not fair of me to show up and act like I’ve been father of the year to you. I do still feel like your father, Ella. I know you might not understand that, but I looked after you for three years. I thought of you as my daughter back then, same as I do now.
“Hell, I met you when you were just a little kid, Ella. I tucked you into bed with your mom and tried to read you bedtime stories. You were already too old for that but it didn’t stop me from trying.” He smiled. “I’m sorry that I don’t call more often. I know it’s going to sound stupid but I feel a little silly still hanging on to you after all these years. Like I’m a foolish old man. I guess I worried that you were going to stop answering my calls one day. Or that you were going to think I was a weirdo for calling after all these years.”
“I never would’ve thought you were a weirdo. I loved when you called and we talked, Paul. I just… I think I’m just having a bad day. I shouldn’t have said anything.” I forced out a deep sigh and shook my head. “You’re not silly. You were the best man Mom ever brought around. You still called and checked on me after you two imploded. That was important to me. It kept me from feeling abandoned. So maybe thank yourself for me not having daddy issues, too.”
He laughed. “I will thank myself for that, I guess. Do you want to talk about what’s really bothering you?”
I looked out the window next to us and watched as a palm tree swayed in the wind. The sky was getting dark with rain clouds and I could tell it was going to pour any minute. “It’s nothing. I just… I argued with Vaughn. I feel bad.”
“So, nothing has changed then?” Paul leaned forward and patted my hand. “If there’s one thing that was true of your relationship with Vaughn, it’s that you two could really push each other’s buttons. I was shocked when I saw you here last night. You could always get under his skin so easily. And vise-versa.”
I shook my head. “I was never the problem. Vaughn was a bully back then. But this fight might’ve been my fault.”
“Vaughn was the same as every other stupid boy who’s been led to believe that pulling a girl’s hair is cute. He used to follow you around all over the place just waiting for a chance to annoy you. As soon as you paid him any attention his whole face would light up. As much as he loved to fight with you, though, he was your fiercest protector. I don’t know how many times I had to pull him off one of the neighbor boys for teasing you.”
I frowned. “I don’t remember that.”
He sat back again and shrugged. “It’s true. I swear the families in that neighborhood celebrated when your mom and I divorced and I moved away with Vaughn.”
I flinched as a loud clap of thunder echoed through the lobby. Feeling even worse than ever, I glanced at my phone, hoping for a missed text or call from him. “He doesn’t feel like a brother to me.”
Paul’s eyebrows climbed higher on his forehead. After a few seconds, he cleared his throat. “Well. Whatever he feels like to you, Ella, I hope you two sort out your differences.”
“As soon as the rain stops, I’ll head back. I should apologize before I lose my nerve.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure you remember how hard it was for Mom to apologize. Turns out, I take after her.”
He laughed and nodded. “Oh, your mother was a pain in the ass but she was a lot of fun. You’d do well to take after her. She rarely apologized but when she did, she made it count.”
I faked a gag. “Gross.”
He snorted out a laugh. “Not what I meant, Ella.”
“Sorry. You just never know with Mom.” Another clap of thunder had me sighing. “This doesn’t look like another five minute Florida storm.”
“Nope. You might be here for a little while. Should we get room service dessert and watch TV until it ends? I saw a molten chocolate cake on the menu last night.”
I nodded. “Yes, please. With ice cream. Lots of ice cream.”
47
