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“Some of those dots Blake connected led to a woman I once had a moment with, another agent. Obviously, she betrayed me. The problem for Mick is that she also still wants me. She’ll get me what I want. She’ll get us our proof.”
I blanch. “Wait. You’re telling me our answers lie in you fucking some other woman into telling you how to keep fucking me?” I try to push away from him, but he catches my leg, holding me to him.
“Holy fuck, woman. No. I’m not—”
“You’re either going to trick her into helping you or threaten her under harm of death. Which is it?”
“Whatever it takes.”
“Including fucking her?”
“Except that.”
“But just a little rubbing here and there is just fine? Is that what I’m signing up for? Is that what this is?”
He catches my arms and stares down at me, anger burning in his eyes. “After all of this, is that who you think I am, Ashley?”
“I know you do what you have to do to stay alive.”
“I’m doing what I have to do to give you your freedom.”
“I can deal with a lot of things, Aaron, but you with another woman—”
“Don’t do this,” he bites out. “I need to go fight this war with a clear head, and damn it, I need you to trust me enough to know that no other woman—”
“Will matter?”
His lashes lower, and he looks skyward, struggling with this new war between us. I tell myself to reign it in, to make him feel better about what I feel. He’s fighting for my life, but I just need to know what life that is when this is over. “Aaron—”
The doors open again. “We need to roll,” Savage says again.
“I’ll be right there,” Aaron all but growls at him.
For once, Savage says nothing, and I don’t even know if he’s still in the doorway. I’m focused on Aaron, who is now staring down at me. “We both just got a slap of reality, now didn’t we?”
“What does that mean?” I demand.
He releases me and pulls my gun from his waistband, taking my hand and pressing it into my palm. “Stay with Blake.” He releases me and turns and walks away, exiting and leaving me standing there.
I blanch and run after him, gun still in hand. By the time I’m at the railing, he’s at the door with Savage by his side. Blake and a few of his men are at the table, but I don’t care. I don’t care about anyone but Aaron, and the mistake I just made with him. I trust him. Of course, I trust him. I’ve never heard him say he had a thing with any other woman. I got jealous. I got confused. I just—I was shortsighted. “Aaron!” I call out, desperate to stop him, but he doesn’t turn. “Aaron, damn it, I will shoot you if you walk out of that door like this. You can’t go like this.”
He turns and holds out his hands. “Maybe you’d be happier, Ashley. Maybe we both would.”
“I won’t shoot to kill you. I’ll just wound you.”
“You already did that, baby. You already did that.” He drops his hands and turns and leaves. And I let him. I can’t stop him. I was just an emotional idiot when I hate emotional idiots. That’s how I sent him off to fight. Already wounded and at a disadvantage by my foolishness.
Chapter forty-two
Ashley
Istare at the door where Aaron just disappeared with Savage.
What just happened? What the hell did I just let happen? My lashes lower, eyes squeezing shut. I’m not an emotional or jealous person. I’m not, but Aaron isn’t just an average man either. He’s a CIA agent, even if you put “ex” before CIA. He does things to stay alive, and he does things to end other people’s lives. He lives, he has lived, a much different life than a normal human being. Is kissing an ex to free himself and me a huge deal? Yes. God, yes. It feels big. It feels like it defines us in some other way. No. What defines us is that I didn’t even know she existed.
“Ashley.”
At the sound of my name, I open my eyes. Blake steps into the living area just below me. “Unless you want to shoot me, come down and talk to me.”
