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“I thought I was at one time, but I don’t think it was truly love. I’m not sure, to be honest with you, what love actually feels like.”
He laughed. “Trust me, you’ll know when it happens.”
“When did you know with Lincoln?” I asked.
A wide smile appeared on his face. “I think the moment I first saw her. I felt something I’d never felt before with anyone else. Not even Blayze’s mother, my first wife. With Lincoln, everything just hit differently. My instant defense mechanism was to deny my feelings by being a total asshole to her.” He chuckled. “She didn’t put up with my shit, though, and that only made me fall in love with her more.”
“How did it hit differently?” I asked.
“First, the moment I saw her, she absolutely stole the breath from my lungs. I literally struggled to keep my shit together. Some people say they don’t believe in love at first sight, but I’m positive that day in the barn, seeing her with Blayze, I fell hard. I was just too stubborn to admit it. From then on, anytime she was near me, the air around me changed. I don’t know how else to explain it. I could sense her before I even turned around to see her. Lincoln was so easy to be with, and she still is. I can talk to her about anything and everything. Without her, there is no me.”
I thought back to the moment Avery walked onto that plane in Dallas. How easy it was to talk to her. I’d opened up and damn near told her my life story.
“You’ll know you’ve found the one when you feel your damn heart tripping over itself anytime she smiles at you,” Brock added. “It’s not just lust or a desire to have her sexually. It’s more the desire to simply be with her.”
“Do you think you can be friends with someone first before wanting something more with them?” I asked.
“Oh yeah. Hell, I think you can totally detest a person and still fall in love with them. Just ask Ty and Kaylee about their bumpy road to love.” Brock laughed, as if a memory had resurfaced.
“What if there are things in the way?” I asked.
Pulling up to the barn, Brock put the truck in Park and turned to look at me. He studied me for a moment. “Things in the way? Such as?”
I sure as hell wasn’t about to say an age gap. He’d know for sure I was talking about Avery.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Just…things that might get in the way of having a relationship.”
He nodded. “When I dated Lincoln, it was long distance for us. I was always out on the road. But it all worked out in the end. As far as other things…I’m not sure. Depends on what those things are. But if it’s meant to be, it’ll work out.”
All I could do was nod.
“Can I give you some advice, Beck?”
“Of course you can, anytime.”
“If you find yourself in love, don’t let anything stop you from fighting for that love. It’s not every day someone comes into your life and turns it upside down in the most amazing kind of way. Love isn’t easy, and you have to work at it…always. Even after it’s well established.”
Turning to look at the barn, I said, “I believe my mother and father had that kind of love…and in the end, it broke her heart. She never married anyone. I always wondered if she was lonely, and when I asked, she’d just say she had me. But I wasn’t sure that was enough for her. Was she so afraid to give her heart again that she kept it to herself, in case she lost someone a second time? Or was she so in love with my dad she literally couldn’t give it to anyone else? If that’s love…I’m not so sure I want anything to do with it. If it brings you such pain and confusion.”
Brock exhaled and waited a moment before asking, “Who is she, Beck?”
My head jerked to the left to stare at him. “I’m sorry?”
“You just rubbed at your chest like you were feeling something. I know that look, because I’ve seen it on plenty of faces in my time. Who is she?”
I shook my head. “Someone out of my reach, sir.”
“Well…maybe what you need to do then is figure out how to extend your hand a little farther, so you can grab her.”
With that, he opened the door and got out.
I spent most of the day with Brock, Tanner, and Ty Junior as we drove around the ranch. They showed me their respective places on the ranch; I met Josh and Nathan, who were both a hoot. I was also able to meet Lily and Maverick. Lily was Tanner’s daughter, and Maverick was her husband. He also worked with Tanner on his horse ranch.
