Page 30 of The Princess & the Prospect
“Why do you think she avoided you at all costs before?” Ever asked, though she seemed just as shocked about the fact that her sister had known all along as the rest of us.
“Makes sense now, especially her panicked rant about not wanting STDs from you.” I was thankful Ever didn’t repeat Anna’s worries about me raping her. I didn’t think I’d survive that considering present company.
I stood, moving toe to toe with Double-D, and looked him in his eyes as I spoke. “Take her away from me. I’ve done nothing but hurt her and I can’t…” I choked up and had to start over. “I can’t do this to her anymore. I fucked it all up from the beginning. There’s no going back now.”
“Do you love my daughter?” He asked just as quietly as I had spoken.
“Yes, that’s why you have to do this,” I pleaded with him. He nodded his head once and walked toward the direction of the bedroom where Lucy had gone to be with her daughter.
“D?” Merc called out.
“You should go on home now,” Double-D answered. “Pretty sure baby girl is fresh out of things to celebrate today.”
Misery swam in my stomach as his words just reiterated how badly I had fucked everything up. I tried to make sure her birthday was one that she would remember. She would definitely never forget this one, and that was the kicker. I’d do anything to wipe this memory away and give her a fresh, clean slate. I couldn’t though, because one angry night of being fucked up and drunk off my ass had left us in a state of disrepair with ripple effects that were still hitting hard every time we let our guards down around one another. It was like some force beyond the grave was trying to keep us apart. For a moment, I thought maybe it was Toby, himself. Then I figured there was no way he would put his little sister through this, even if he wanted to spite the man he didn’t think was good enough for his sister.
I sat on the stool at the kitchen island and allowed my head to sink into my hands while my elbows propped it up. I felt a pat on my back before Merc and Tiger Lily took off and then Deck and Ever were there. “I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but remember when you told me she was better off not knowing how far things went with you and the blond that night?” Ever asked.
“Yeah,” I mumbled without lifting my head.
She made a noise in the back of her throat and then started talking again. “She deserved to hear it from you. Part of what has had her on edge has been her inability to trust what you were up to when you weren’t around. I know that despite being married, you guys aren’t really together like that, but she’s pregnant with your kid. Of course she would think about how many other women you’re with since she knows you aren’t doing anything with her. Knowing what happened that night probably made all of her fears, and the things she made up in her head every time you were gone, seem real. I’m just guessing here, but I bet if you had come clean in the beginning she would have trusted your word about what you’ve been up to, and she would have known that woman was lying today.”
I never bothered to lift my head or acknowledge Ever. I listened as she moved away and pushed out of the door. “I’m pretty sure my wife just helped to open that wound in your gut a little wider. She’s not wrong in what she said either, but I want you to hear something else and let it sink in. That girl in there just asked you to move back in so you could work on a relationship again – whether as friends or more down the road – and she did that knowing the truth even if you weren’t the one to tell it to her. Remember that. Having that bitch show up here today made everything fresh in Anna’s mind again, but give her time, and you’ll get back on track again.”
I wished I could believe that. I wished I could believe that my supreme fuck up hadn’t cost me the mother of my child, and hell, at this point probably my child too. I had just managed to get her to agree to let me in enough to be a part of the pregnancy with her. Holding her belly the day before had left me feeling raw and hopeful all at once. Now, all of that was gone again. The blink of an eye never meant as much as the moment when I happily walked into my home, only to watch everything crash and burn around me again.
“Luce?” I heard Double-D call out from the hallway once he realized the bedroom door had been locked. I turned to tell Deck I had a key to the room, but both he and Ever were gone already. They must have slipped out just after Merc while I was lost in my thoughts and grief. The imposing figure of my father-n-law moved inside the room once the door was opened, and all I could think was that they were going to take her away from me and I deserved it. I had made this happen with my own actions. I had fucked up something that would have been the best thing in my whole fucking life, and I did it because I couldn’t get over a simple goddam lie in the big scheme of things.
I wasn’t sure how Deck imagined his sister-in-law could possibly get over what I had done, considering the fact that I had gone off the rails over something that was a tiny offense in comparison to what I had done. My stomach rolled with the self-loathing and the regret I was swimming in. I hated that too, deep down, because I had never been a person to look back and dwell before. Neither had I been the type of person who would take things sitting down without a fight. The problem was, I didn’t know if fighting for her would make everything better or worse for Anna in the end. The last thing I wanted to do was cause her any more pain than I already had.
Whispered voices caught my attention as I watched Lucy leave the bedroom, avoiding looking in my direction as she marched straight out my front door without so much as a word. She didn’t seem happy about having to go either. Double-D came out next, but unlike his wife, he didn’t avoid me. Instead, he came straight over to me and made sure I was looking him in the eye as he spoke.
“You have one week, and then I help her get an apartment, and if you’re lucky, it won’t be one half way around the world.” Double-D didn’t wait for an answer. He turned on his heel and left my house, thudding the door shut behind him as he went. It took me a minute to realize what had just happened. They had left without her. She was still here. Fuck me, if I knew why, but I would do whatever it took to make her see that things would be different.
I waited for her to come to me, because I didn’t think she would appreciate me making the gesture when it was me who she was angry with. It took less time than I’d expected though, and I ached all over again when I saw her face was puffy from crying and her eyes were swollen and red. Not for the first time, I wanted to bring that bitch – whoever the hell the blonde had been – back and punch her in the face for causing Anna’s pain. I wanted to punch the shit out of myself too. Anna took one look at me then turned around and headed toward the freezer. She came back with a bag of frozen peas and handed them to me. I just stared at her for a minute wondering what that was all about when she smiled.
“Whoever hit you did a good job. You should put that on your face before you have any more swelling.” I had almost forgotten about the hit Ever had gotten in on my face. The pain had never registered, but I figured that was because I had stronger aches going on inside.
“Your sister packs a hell of a punch for such a little thing,” I told her. She grinned at that. It was brief, but fantastic to see until the grin faded to a sorrowful glare.
“That was embarrassing,” she admitted. “It would have been something else altogether if my entire family hadn’t been here to witness and hear that my husband hated me so much that he cheated on me on our wedding night, and that he didn’t even care I was sitting there watching him do it.”
“You were there for that?” I asked, puzzled.
“I was there for enough, but since you never even knew I had gone, I assumed it wouldn’t have mattered to you.”
“It matters. I didn’t even know. The next day, when I was told about it…”
She eyed me skeptically. “You had to be told about it?”
“I did. When Deck came by the clubhouse, he had to wake me up and there was a woman lying on me. I thought it was you.”
“Last I checked, I’m not a blond.”
“It took me a while to be able to prise my eyes open. I drank more that night than I’ve ever consumed before in my life. I’m surprised I didn’t need to go to the hospital.”
“I get that you’re trying to explain away not knowing you had the wrong woman lying with you, but here are my issues with that.” She held up her hand and then ticked up one finger first. “The fact that you had to get that drunk because you married me. I have to say, that hurts a lot.” She shook her head when I started to speak. “No, it’s my turn. You just listen for a minute.”
Then she ticked up another finger, now holding two in the air. “The second thing is that you may have been too drunk to know who you woke up with, but when we first got to the clubhouse you hadn’t even bottomed out your first drink when a woman was hanging all over you as I watched. That same woman came and stood beside me as she ordered your next round of drinks for the both of you. She even smiled at me before going back to you, handing you your beer, and brushing her body all over you.
