Page 15 of The Princess & the Prospect
She placed her hand over her belly. “This is my burden, not theirs. I didn’t want to live in their house, expecting my parents to help raise my baby. They’re ready to retire soon and they’ve always talked about all the traveling they would do once the kids were grown. Me having a baby in their house would have derailed their plans.”
“So you chose to marry me and live here – not knowing what to expect – so that your pregnancy didn’t disrupt your parents’ retirement?”
“Yes,” she answered without any hesitation.
Merc’s words during our conversation yesterday came back to me full force. The meaning behind them suddenly very clear. “That girl has always been selfless. She just wants to make other people smile.” I was contemplating that, and had remained quiet so Anna spoke up again. The nervousness in her voice as she did so was evident.
“It’s your baby too so I didn’t think it would be a problem for you. You’d have access to the baby and you have the clubhouse so you can get away from me and do whatever you need to.” I didn’t miss the dejected tone her words had devolved to at the end of that statement. She imagined every time I went to the clubhouse, it was to get my dick wet in some way. That made me both hate myself, because I knew my own actions had helped enforce her belief, and angry because that wasn’t something I would normally ever consider doing once married or in a serious relationship. The fact that she hadn’t even used an accusatory tone, and instead had been saddened by her own words, but equally resigned to them, caused an ache to form in my stomach. Actually, it was closer to my chest. I had done that to her. I’d made her feel that way, and the regret I already felt re-doubled.
“Anna, about what you saw that night. I was angry and hadn’t thought everything through yet. I let my anger fuel my drinking and then that killed my judgement. It should have never happened. It will never happen again. I promise.” Her only response was a negligible motion of her shoulders rising and falling in a half-assed version of a shrug. I didn’t get to soothe whatever feelings my words caused that she was trying to hide from me because a knock on the door stopped me short.
When I got up to open the door, Ever was standing there with Deck, both demanding to speak to Anna. I opened the door wider so they could both come in. Ever moved quickly to sit beside her sister, whispering in hushed tones as Deck moved inside the door and stood there looking over the place with a critical eye.
“No,” Anna was saying to Ever while shaking her head back and forth as I sat down in the chair once more. I really wished things were different and I was sitting on the couch with Anna in my lap instead of feeling as though this huge wall stood between us and it was made of some pretty impenetrable stuff.
“Anna, you can’t stay here,” Ever told her quietly while glaring over Anna’s shoulder toward me.
“Why on Earth not?”
“You’re obviously not comfortable here,” her sister answered back.
Anna simply shrugged. “I’m not going with you, but I do have a favor to ask.”
“What?”
“Could you give me a ride to town?”
“Why don’t I just take you to go get your car? I’m sure that dad wouldn’t want you to go without it considering you’re living all the way out here.”
Anna gave Ever an odd look before answering. “Daddy didn’t take my car from me. He would never do that,” she told Ever assuredly. Ever just gave her a dubious look right back, obviously not feeling the same trust in their father that Anna did.
“Then why don’t you have your car here with you?”
“I sold it,” Anna stated simply.
“What? Why in the world would you sell your car? You obviously need it!”
“I didn’t have any money. Now, I have a little set aside for the baby’s stuff,” she admitted. Her cheeks pinked up, showing the embarrassment she clearly felt about having to sell her car to afford things for our baby. I just sat there, mouth agape for a minute, trying to wrap my head around the fact that I had been such a fucking shit that this girl thought she needed to sell her only real possession in order to help care for our child. Fuck my life. She was going to break me. More to the point, my own stupid actions were doing enough of a number on her that her reactions to it were breaking me.
“You don’t have to pay for any of the baby’s stuff, Anna. I have it all covered,” I informed her as well as Ever and Deck who were both staring at me with hate-filled eyes.
“No, I do. I’m already a burden. I need…”
“You are not a goddamn burden!” I snapped. Judging by her flinch I’d said it a little too loudly, or maybe too passionately. “You can use the truck until we can get you another car. I have the bike so it’s no problem for you to use it.”
“No really,” Anna turned pleading eyes to her sister.
“I’ll have appointments at odd hours with work, Anna. Using his truck sounds like your best option for now.”
Anna’s answer came to her sister in a small voice, “Okay.”
“Now, do you need Deck to grab your things so you can come stay with us?” Ever asked her, obviously feeling as though her little sister was acquiescing to everything. Once again Anna shook her head in the negative.
“Anna, if you’re uncomfortable here, you don’t have to stay. We don’t mind you being at our house. It’s huge.”
“No!” Anna’s statement was firm. “I’m pregnant, Ever.”
“I know. That’s part of why I’m offering.”
