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I turn sharply to see Amy standing in the doorway, with her bags beside her. There's a mortified look on her face. I quickly put on my pants as I try to salvage the situation.
"Amy, I'm so sorry …"
"I don't want to hear it, Dad. I feel disgusted. And you," she says, turning to Rochelle, who's bawling her eyes out. "I guess you finally got what you wanted, didn't you? You finally got banged by the professor!"
"No … no, Amy, you don't understand." Rochelle tearfully tries to explain.
"Don't you dare say my name. I knew it was your lifelong dream and fantasy, but did it have to be my dad? You're my best friend, for fucks sake!"
"No … Amy, please listen ... "
"Amy … –"
"Stay out of this, Dad! Rochelle Mason, we are done. Do you understand? I want you to leave. I can’t even look at you."
"Amy … "
"Please, Rochelle … just leave!" Amy insists angrily. Rochelle runs upstairs. I run after Rochelle as she storms into her room and begins to pack her bags.
"What are you doing?"
"It's best I leave, Kevin."
"You're not going anywhere, Rochelle. Just wait here while I talk to Amy."
"I can't … I'm sorry Kevin … maybe this shouldn't have happened … I …"
"Don't you dare say that," I say, grabbing her. "What you and I have is not just some fling. You know it and I know it. I want to be with you Rochelle Mason. I'm in love with you." I let her go, afraid of the power of my emotions.
"Please, Kevin," she says with tears rolling down her face.
"Stay right here," I say and head downstairs.
"Amy, honey. I'm so sorry for what you just saw, but I care about Rochelle. I have feelings for her and …"
"No, you do not, Dad. She's just gotten your feelings all messed up. Rochelle has always wanted to lose her virginity to an older man. I just never thought she would pick you. It's just a fantasy for her dad."
No. No, it can't be. I freeze as I think back to all the times we spent together. It never seemed that way. The look on her face wasn't that of a woman who was only using a man. But what else could it be? What was I thinking? Would a hot young 20-year-old want anything to do with a boring 40-year-old intellectual?
I hear the back door close and realize it's Rochelle. I run after her but she gets into her car and drives off. I run after her for a long time and then stop, feeling bereft and empty. I think about every moment we spent together. Was it real, or was she just playing me? Even if what Amy said is true, it doesn't change the fact that I am in love with her. What we’ve experienced is real. I know she feels the same way. If she has been playing me, then I need to find her, look her in the eyes and have her tell me she doesn’t feel the same way. Only then will I leave her be. But I won’t rest until I’ve found her.
***
I get back home and I’m met with silence as I walk through the door. I head upstairs to look for Amy and I find Rochelle's room ajar. I open it to find Amy on the floor sobbing. I look to the bed where Rochelle and I spent many nights and my heart breaks. I go into the room and pull Amy up. I hold her in my arms and pat her back.
"I'm sorry you saw that honey."
"I didn't mean to make her leave. I just …”
I sit her down on the bed and sit beside her.
“Listen Amy,” I take a deep breath. “I'm in love with Rochelle. I held back for so long because I kept on thinking about you. But I'm in love with her and she's the woman I want to be with."
Amy looked at me in shock.
"You really mean that?"
"Yes. I do. You want me to be happy, don't you? Well Rochelle makes me happy."
