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It was one of my first thoughts. That I could retract the signed rights, prove it’s not my signature. But I’d planned on possibly doing this one day. It’s why I was writing it. My therapy. Time for me to finally take back the control that was stripped from me ten years ago.
But Jet took that control away.
It should have been me deciding when I was ready to share it. Not him. No one else but me. I’ll never forgive him for that. Even if the outcome is the same,the route to get there was never his to navigate. It was mine.
He took away my control, so that he could keep his.
“Please don’t,” he rasps.
Air rushes into my lungs, the shot of oxygen making my head clearer. He’s right. I need it to be easy to hate him. I need to take every feeling I ever had for him and turn them into hate.
It’s the only way I’ll survive again.
I need to take back control.
“Say it.” I breathe in his scent without meaning to, then swallow down the pang of warmth it evokes in my memory. I don’t want to remember anymore. I want to forget it all. Forget I ever met him.
“I need to hear you say it.”
Deep lines appear along his brow as he reaches for me, sliding his hand around my ribs. The contact makes me shudder and I shove his hand away.
“Say it,” I snap. “Admit what you did.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No,” I sob as my eyes burn. “Don’t fucking do that. I’ve forgiven you too many times for the shit you’ve pulled. There isn’t any coming back this time. Just admit what you did. And then I’m going to walk out of here. And I never want to see you again. I never want to hear your name again. You understand? If you pass me in the street, keep walking. Don’t look at me. Because I won’t even notice you.”
His Adam’s apple rises in his throat as he swallows, then his eyes darken as he holds mine, unblinking.
“Say it,” I urge in a hoarse whisper. “Don’t make me beg. After all you’ve done, don’t make me—”
“I took your story, Ava.”
A strangled sound escapes my lips.
“I did it to save the airline. And, Firefly…” His whole body stiffens when I flinch at his nickname for me. “I am sorry. Because if I had to, I’d do it again.”
I spin, unable to look at him anymore.
My vision blurs as I rush away and his final words follow me.
“I’d make the same choice every goddamn time, Ava.”
Chapter 31
Ava
One month later
“You’ve been staring atyour phone every day, darling. Are you hoping Jet will call?”
I click out of my banking app and look up into Mum’s eyes as she walks into the kitchen. Each one of the million dollars that Jet deposited in my bank account are a painful reminder to his betrayal. It’s a bribe for my silence. And so far, it’s working. I’m too ashamed to admit to anyone what he’s done. How I fell for his lies.
I told Mum we decided we weren’t right together. Which is true. Everything about us was wrong. But I haven’t been able to hide the way it’s dragged me down every day since.
“I hate that I’m still thinking about him,” I say, my voice weaker than the previous thousands of times I’ve said it.
He’s drained me. Even all the trips I’ve taken with Mum since I got back from New York haven’t helped the pain to lessen. And what I managed to turn into rage has eaten away at me just as much. It takes a lot of energy to wake up each day with so much hate in your heart.
