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I climb the stairs two at a time. Wasting no time, I jump in the shower and let my tears mix with the water streaming down my face. I stand under the spray until the water runs cold, only getting out when my teeth start chattering.
Throwing on a pair of oversized sweatpants and a sweatshirt I'm practically swimming in, I head out onto the balcony and curl up on the couch. I don’t want to study. I don’t want to think or feel. I just want to exist.
I can't stop the tears that keep trickling down my cheeks. No matter how much I want to keep the pain hidden, it’s slowly leaking out.
Chapter 22
Nixon
Slowly sliding the door open, I stand in the threshold and watch the girl I love falling apart. She swipes angrily at the tears staining her cheeks. I know she likes to be strong and make everyone think she’s indestructible, but she isn't. She’s always been more sensitive than she lets on.
“Savvy…” I drop onto the couch next to her and open my arms wide. “C’mon, I don’t bite.”
“You used to,” she whispers, with a soft chuckle.
“In my defense, you took my last gummy worm.” I shrug a shoulder.
“You were sixteen! I don’t think biting someone for stealing your candy is appropriate at that age.”
“If I had a bag of gummies right now and you took the last one, I’d still bite you. I stand by my assault choice. The punishment fits the crime.”
Savvy snuggles a little deeper into my side. She buries her hands in her sweatshirt pocket and slips the hood over her wet hair.
“Whose clothes are you wearing?” I glance at her outfit. It’s clearly men’s clothes.
“Uhh… just an old boyfriend’s, I think.” She fidgets uncomfortably, trying to put some distance between us.
“Is it Chad’s?”
“No. He cares too much about his appearance to dress like this.” She waves me off.
“Savvy… are those mine?” I arch a brow. The gray sweats are generic enough that I wouldn’t recognize them, but the navy hoodie has a big paint stain from when we painted Savvy’s room purple in high school.
“Maybe.” She buries her face in her hands, trying to hide from me.
“Why are you hiding from me?”
“It’s embarrassing! I'm wearing the stuff you left here when you joined the military!”
“It’s not embarrassing.” I chuckle, tugging her hands away from her face. “It’s cute and adorable.”
“Great. Just what I want to be, cute and adorable.” She makes a sour face and rolls her eyes. A few seconds later the tears begin rolling down her cheeks all over again. “Is any guy ever going to want me? Am I really that ugly or horrible to be around?”
“Savvy, stop it. Chad’s an asshole. Nothing can explain his behavior. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, I promise.”
“He was my first boyfriend.”
“Shit, really?”
“Yeah. No one wanted to date me in high school. They all viewed me as Nixon Russo’s girl. We didn’t even date and yet no guy would come within ten feet of me, terrified of what the great Nixon would do when he came home.”
“For real?” My brows kiss my hairline.
“There was this new guy who came during my senior year. He flirted with me a few times and he was cute. One day during lunch, he asked me out but before I could answer, Bobby Stratford told him all about who you were and what you’d do to him if you found out he was asking me out. He tucked tail and never spoke to me again.”
“I'm sorry,” I whisper, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“It’s fine. There’s nothing I can do about it now.” She shrugs a shoulder.
