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“I'm not sure that’s a good idea. I have Devon and Chad here. It’d be rude to ignore them.”
“Are we still going to spend one day together?”
“I… I don’t know, Nix.”
“Ok,” I whisper, turning my back to her. An ache spreads through my chest as my stomach twists up in knots.
I return to the kitchen, stirring the sauce before it starts to burn. I’d hate to ruin Carla’s dinner after how helpful she’s been this week.
Savannah and I always had an emotional relationship. When we were happy, people hated being around us, they said it was annoying and no one should be that happy. But when we got mad at each other, every conversation was like World War Three. We’ve always been raw, emotional, and transparent to each other.
If nothing else, I know that hasn’t changed. We still wear our feelings for each other to see.
Busying myself with dinner, I pop the bread I made into the oven and check on the chicken. I want to make sure it’s as crispy as possible. Dropping the pasta into the boiling water, I stir it a few times just to make sure they don’t end up sticking together.
If my hands stay busy, I can pretend every breath I suck in doesn’t hurt. Like my heart isn't breaking. She wants nothing to do with me, she isn’t going to give me a chance to defend my actions. But then I remember it’s Savannah we’re talking about, she’ll always give me another chance. That’s who she is.
I remember growing up, I hated when she gave people chances over and over again. Each time they proved they never deserved a second chance to begin with. I’d ask her why she gave them the benefit of the doubt. She stared into my eyes and said everyone who asks for a chance deserves one. They deserve as many as it takes for them to redeem themselves.
I never agreed with her, I still don’t. But now that I'm the one begging for forgiveness, for a second chance, I'm glad she’s like that. Because I know any minute she’s going to come into this kitchen and give me the chance to redeem myself.
Not even five minutes later, soft footsteps fill the air. I glance over my shoulder, finding Savannah tiptoeing into the kitchen. Quickly, I turn back to cooking, hiding my smile.
“Nixon… I'm sorry. That was rude of me. You deserve a chance to explain and apologize.”
“It’s fine, Savvy. I know where we stand.” My chest aches with the truth in my words. I do know where we stand right now. I know if she weren’t such a good person, I wouldn’t be offered a second chance.
“I'm just… my nerves are fried from this week. I know that’s an excuse, but it’s true. I'm struggling with handling my class load with finals coming up. I brought a bunch of notes to study even though I promised everyone this weekend would be all about family and friends.” Tears fill her eyes. Her stress is evident now that it’s just us. She’s not hiding it from me, she’s never hidden anything from me.
“Come here, Sav,” I whisper.
I'm shocked when she melts into my embrace. One arm snakes around her waist, tugging her tight against me. The other one holds her head against my chest, stroking her hair.
“It will be ok, sweetheart. You’re so close to being done. I can help you study after everyone goes to bed; it can be our little secret.” I press a kiss to the top of her head.
Having her in my arms is like heaven on earth. I'm loving every second of it, but I dread knowing it won't last long.
“Why are you being so nice to me?” She mumbles against my chest.
“I never stopped caring about you. Never. Cutting things off between us… that was a decision I had to make. I couldn’t handle talking to you and hearing your beautiful voice full of worry. I thought keeping my distance was better for both of us. I was wrong. So horribly wrong. Every morning, I thought of you. Every night, I dreamed about being with you all over again. I screwed up, Savvy. I’ll admit that, but if I was faced with the same decision all over again, I'm not sure I would’ve done anything differently. I protected you the only way I knew how.”
“What happened?”
“Not yet. I’ll talk to you about it, but not tonight. Not until we get a chunk of time by ourselves.”
Chapter 15
Savannah
“Is dinner ready yet? I'm starving!” Dad calls, rounding the corner into the kitchen.
Pulling out of Nixon’s arms, I swipe a finger under my eyes, fixing any smudges of makeup from my tears.
“You’re beautiful, stop worrying about your makeup,” Nixon whispers, then turns his attention to Dad. “Hold your horses, ya old man. I’m making magic happen in this kitchen.”
“Ha!” Dad snorts with laughter. “You think anything you make could be any more magical than what Carla can do? I think not.”
“Donny, stop harassing the boy. I swear you two are like long lost brothers.” Mom sweeps into the room with the biggest smile on her face. “You’ll be begging to go back to college by the end of the weekend with these two hanging around.”
