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“You can't force fans to stay away, Cord. It never would’ve worked.”
“You’re right, but now that I’ve been doing this for a while, I’ve figured some things out.” He lifts his shoulder in a shrug.
I open my mouth to ask him what he means, but Tim appears with our drinks and I patiently wait. I don’t want to have this type of conversation with an audience.
“Are you ready to order?” He glances from Cord to me and back again.
“We’ll take two fajitas. One chicken and one steak. I’ll take the chicken with extra veggies and no shells. She’ll take her steak cooked medium with flour shells and extra guacamole.”
“Great. I’ll have that out to you as soon as it’s ready.” Tim smiles and turns to leave.
“Oh, can we also have some chips and queso?”
“Of course.”
As soon as Tim is far enough away from us, I turn my attention back to Cord. I shake my head and roll my eyes. He hasn’t changed one bit.
“What?”
“You still love to order for me?”
“Did I order anything wrong?”
“No,” I say softly because Cord’s always been so in tune with me. He always knows what I want and what I don’t for dinner. I swear we could go to any restaurant and he could look at the menu and tell you what I’d want, and he was never wrong.
I know some women would get annoyed with their boyfriend ordering for them, but honestly, it made me feel loved and cherished. I had a boyfriend who knew me well enough to know exactly what I wanted every second of the day. He paid attention to every little detail and asked questions if he felt like there was more he wasn’t understanding. It was addicting.
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Cord’s still stroking the back of my hand with his thumb, but now he’s leaning forward, closing the distance between us a little bit more.
“What did you mean when you said you’ve figured some things out now that you’ve been doing this for a while?”
“Well, for starters, I go out with more popular players than me, or ones who love attention. Leo and Wyatt are more popular with fans, so they’ll naturally want to talk to them more than me.” He lifts his shoulder in a shrug and it breaks my heart.
He’s such an amazing man and everyone should be the biggest fans of him. I know Wyatt does most of the interviews for the team because of how calm he is with reporters and Owen can trust him when there’s a microphone in front of him. Leo’s popular because he’s the pitcher and he’s really good.
“Smithy, Wheeler, and Holden love attention so they’re great to have around too. I can quickly sign something for a fan, then duck away without them noticing because one of those guys will quickly start flirting with the fan if it’s a woman, or acting like they’ve been friends forever if it’s a guy. The only fans I like to interact with anymore are kids.”
“You don’t even like the fame?” My eyebrows raise, I'm more than shocked. He used to like the attention.
“Nah, if I could go the rest of my life and never be recognized by a fan, I’d be thrilled.”
“Why?” I don’t understand how he could make a one-eighty on this topic in just a few years.
“Because the fans stole the one thing that actually mattered to me.”
“What?”
“You.”
“Cord…”
“I actually considered walking away from baseball after you left me,” he says so quietly I almost don’t hear him. “I had rehearsed a conversation in my head. I was going to talk to my dad and explain things to him. I knew he’d be pissed, but it didn’t matter. If I didn’t have you, I wasn’t going to enjoy my life.” He smiles sadly at our joined hands, refusing to meet my gaze.
I want so badly to see what emotions are swimming in his beautiful steely eyes. I want to know I wasn’t the only one hurting when I broke up with him.
It’s so easy to think you were the only one in pain after a break up, but normally both parties are experiencing something. You’re just too oblivious to everyone else’s feelings because you feel like you’re drowning in sorrow already and can't handle anyone else’s emotions.
“Cord… no. You shouldn’t do that. You never should’ve even thought about it.”
