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I glanced her way, a deflection at the ready, when I realized that this was not the time to play coy. If I was putting Trixie’s life in danger by merely being close to her, then she deserved to know the truth.
“It’s complicated.” I felt my knuckles gripping tighter on the wheel. “My brother loved being turned into a vampire. Still does—he thrives on immortality, unlike me. I hated being a vampire, really hated myself for a long time.”
“Do you still?”
“I’ve learned to live with it,” I said. “I don’t love what I am, but I’ve accepted it. Maybe started to believe that it doesn’t have to define me.”
Trixie nodded as if that made a lot of sense to her.
“My brother has been on the run from the law for a long time. He’s killed a lot of people. Allegedly,” I added darkly. “Sebastian hates that I’ve amassed a small fortune, all of it through legal means. He hates that I own nice things. That I can date pretty women. That I have a life. Now with the wildcard nomination, I think it’s more than he can handle. He’s retaliating, showing me that he’s willing to ruin my life—just because he can. He, on the other hand, has nothing to lose.”
“He sounds like a psychopath.”
I shrugged because she wasn’t wrong. My brother had let the bloodthirst get to his head. Sebastian had never tried to practice self-control when it came to feeding off mortals, and it had driven him to a level of dangerous insanity. He hated that I could control the one thing that had driven him to madness.
“I want to hire you to be my driver,” Dom said. “I also think you should stay in my penthouse until I locate my brother.”
“No.”
“We’ll discuss that later, then,” I said on a sigh. “I’m sorry that you’re getting dragged into this.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Maybe not, but it’s definitely not yours.”
Trixie chanced a glance at me. “Does your brother have something to do with you wanting to sell the apartment building?”
“As a matter of fact, he does. Over the years, Sebastian and I have tried to be business partners. About a decade ago, he resurfaced swearing he was trying to get clean. I offered to go in on some business ventures with him to give him a leg up—to give him something to live for outside of the bloodthirst.”
“You tried to save him, but it didn’t work.”
“Sebastian never managed to get it under control. Now, he’s trying to make my life a living hell with any arrangements we have together—like the fact that both our names are on the apartment building paperwork. I’m dumping any deal I have with him because I can’t be tied to my brother in any way.”
“I understand,” she said. “It’s ironic, isn’t it? I want to keep the apartment because it reminds me of my mom. You want to cut it out of your life because it reminds you of your brother.”
“I’m sorry the decision affects you. My brother has screwed up a lot of lives.”
“For what it’s worth, I don’t hate it quite so much.”
“Hate what?”
“I understand why you have to sell the apartment,” Trixie said quietly. “I think I might be holding onto my home for the wrong reasons.”
I kept my eyes on the road, sensing she wasn’t done talking. I was hoping Trixie would keep sharing so long as I kept quiet.
“When I was little, my mom used me for my magic,” Trixie said. “She asked me to do some pretty crappy things for her with my powers from a young age. I grew up trying to hide my magic, thinking that maybe she’d love me for me instead of my powers if I didn’t have any.”
“I’m so sorry, Trix.”
“She did love me though, and the apartment where we lived was the one place I felt safe.” She shrugged. “I guess that’s why I was always so attached to it. Why I never wanted to let it go.”
Now I felt like Satan incarnate, selling the one thing about her crappy childhood that had been a positive light for her.
“It’s not all my mom’s fault. She had some substance abuse issues with products from behind The Veil. I could always tell when she was using because her magic took on this weird tint.”
“You can see magic?”
“Sort of. More like sensing auras. Not anymore,” I said quickly. “I learned to block that out along with the rest of the magic.”
