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Roman’s face softened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to assume.”
“Can I ask why you’re separating?”
“We’ve been growing apart for a long time. We aren’t in love anymore. Like I said, it’s been years coming. I’m not sure we were ever truly in love.”
Penny remembered the forlorn look in Eliza’s eyes and knew that wasn’t true. At least, not for Eliza. Penny recognized a woman who couldn’t have what she most desired.
“Who decided it was time to get divorced?”
“It was a mutual decision. We have an amicable relationship. Hence the reason I’m here this evening. At my soon-to-be ex-wife’s party.”
The bartender returned with fresh drinks. Penny greedily speared another olive and chewed, hoping it would give her stomach a base coat and help to diminish the light-headedness that had her floating on a cloud of confidence. A cloud that looked bright and shiny in the moment but would no doubt appear dark and stormy and rimmed with regret in the morning.
Penny waved a hand at one of the servers toting a tray of crackers with delicate cheeses smeared on top, but a hand rested on her wrist and stopped her halfway through.
“I don’t think you understand what I’m trying to tell you.” Roman leaned in, raised a hand to gently touch the back of her neck. “I’ve been thinking about you, Penny. Unable to get you off my mind. I shouldn’t have kissed you like that without telling you the truth first, but I couldn’t help myself.”
Penny closed her eyes, took a deep breath. She felt sick with relief and wondered what that said about her. Did she still have a conscience after all? All those years of hoarding others’ things and instructing her guilt-ridden thoughts to take a hike… She thought she’d just about worn the bitch down.
But every once in a while, that voice returned—the little angel on her shoulder who hadn’t completely been eradicated by the devil on the other side. Penny couldn’t decide if this was good news or troublesome.
At the end of the day, Penny hadn’t ruined a marriage after all. She sat, basking in the relief for a moment, wondering if that very relief was what made her human. Then, almost immediately, the relief slipped away, and a feeling of ecstasy crept into its place. Penny was left to wonder all over again if that made her an awful person. Not that she needed an answer. She’d been granted the lesser of two evils, and that was the best she could do.
As Roman’s declaration truly sank in, Penny let the little sprouts of guilt that’d plagued her for months seep into the recesses of her brain as she finally, finally allowed other senses to take the wheel. Roman’s breath smelled familiar now, of spicy mint and expensive whiskey. A light, appealing cologne clung to his fine suit. The touch of his hand against her wrist felt like ice cubes melting against hot asphalt—jarring cold and shocking heat.
“I hope you know my intentions were good from the start,” Roman said. “I’m hoping you can carve out a few minutes of time tonight to talk more—in private.”
Penny opened her eyes before glancing over her shoulder. She squinted as Eliza and Marguerite made their way across the room, stopped every few feet by eager guests as the party grew in number and volume. Their trajectory, however, couldn’t be clearer.
Eliza’s eyes rose to meet Penny’s for the briefest of seconds. Penny’s neck prickled. She poured herself over the bar, hugging a martini toward her chest in an effort to shrug Roman’s hand off her neck.
“I would like that,” Penny said. “But give me a minute to breathe. And I really do need to eat something.”
“Of course.” Roman’s words were amiable, but his tone was edgy.
Penny saw a peculiar look appear in Roman’s eyes as he glanced at his soon-to-be ex-wife. Roman gave her a smile, but Eliza didn’t return it. Penny vaguely wondered if the divorce was as amiable as he claimed.
She didn’t have time to dwell on the layers of the Tate family, however, because Eliza had finally completed her trajectory toward the bar with Marguerite in tow. Penny’s throat went dry. She was so absorbed in the approaching guests that she didn’t notice Roman disappearing from her side.
“Marguerite,” Eliza said as she came to a stop, “this is the woman I was telling you about. Penny, meet Marguerite Hill.”
“Oh my God!” Penny reached for the woman’s outstretched hand and clasped it in a shake. “I loved your book. It literally changed my life.”
“Is that right?” Marguerite stepped forward, eyes twinkling. “Tell me more.”
For the next few minutes, Penny floated on cloud nine as she explained her journey from Iowa to California, eventually concluding her gushing praise by dragging her tattered copy of Take Charge from her bag.
“Would you mind signing my copy?” Penny asked. “It would mean so much to me. I can’t wait to get my hands on Be Free. I’ll have to have you sign that one, too.”
As Marguerite signed the book, Penny found herself feeling truly elated for the first time in weeks. She was still flying high when Eliza and Marguerite moved on to enchant the rest of the guests and left her alone. Penny fanned herself and dropped her toothpick, depleted of olives, into her empty martini glass.
Roman was single. Penny had met her idol. Could the night get any better?
Wandering to the dessert table in a dreamlike state, Penny speared strawberries and pineapples in no particular order, barely aware of her own movements. She’d just dipped her confection under the chocolate fountain when she felt a presence next to her.
“Come with me, somewhere quiet. Just for a bit.” Roman’s voice startled Penny out of her happy haze. “I think it’d do us good to talk.”
“I’m not sure that’s a great idea,” Penny said, swallowing hard. “Technically, you’re still married.”
