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Brynn
Just as we reach altitude, Daniel turns to me.
"Are you happy to finally be getting out of there? I know I am. Australia was great, too, while it lasted, but I'm ready to be back in my own bed," he says, laying his head against the headrest and closing his eyes.
"Right…yeah," I say, barely listening to a word he says.
All I can think about is the look on Seven's face when I lied to him outside of the airport.
I wasn't prepared for his question, and he hit me with it at the worst timing possible.
In front of an airport terminal with Daniel inside trying to get our seats assigned.
The real answer was yes.
Yes, he's been in the running, but up until yesterday, I had no idea that he wanted to be. Why couldn't he have told me sooner?
I hated lying to him but whether or not Seven sees it, his family needs him right now, and I think Josslin could be right. I think I could be the distraction that Seven could do without.
"The first thing I want to do when we get home is take a hot shower with my gorgeous fiancé."
"Stop," I say finally. "Stop calling me your fiancé. It's driving me crazy, and it feels like you're forcing the issue. We're not engaged, nor are we technically in a relationship."
Hearing him call me his fiancé for those last two days when we haven't even discussed our relationship status and then blindsiding me with a wedding venue tour when I show up for breakfast feels like he's trying to push me into a marriage that only eight months ago he didn't want. Instead, he wanted his freedom.
"What are you talking about? We agreed that we'd get back together when I got home."
"Yes, I know we did, but a lot has happened since then and you're not supposed to be back for another couple of weeks. I thought I had more time to reflect on us and what our relationship would look like moving forward."
"The project finished early, and they let us go sooner, so I booked a flight to see you because I missed you. I thought you'd be happy that I came."
If he thought I'd be happy, why didn't he tell me ahead of time what he was planning?
"You missed me? Really? Because until you found out about Seven, your texts were once every other week, and your calls were even less frequent. Showing up here to surprise me feels more like you showed up unannounced to check up on me while using my parents as camouflage to your true intentions."
It's a stretch to assume all of that, and I have no real evidence, but there's something about his impromptu visit that makes it feel self-motivated in some way.
"Whoa… where is this coming from? I thought you'd be happy to see me."
"I am it's not that—"
"Does this have anything to do with Seven? Are you disappointed because I ruined your plans to be another one of his nameless puck bunnies on his roster for a couple more days?"
I can't believe he's being like this. He's the one who had a woman in his bed before I ever slept with Seven, and I have no idea how many more besides her that he had.
"That was uncalled for and harsh. And seeing other people was your idea, remember?"
"No, of course, you're right," he says, pulling his eyes away from me and staring over the seats in front of us. "I'm sorry… I guess I'll call first next time to make sure he's done with you before I show back up with your parents for a little vacation that they never get to take."
He's guilt-tripping me, something he's been doing more and more frequently, and I can't handle it. I need space from him to figure this out. This isn't like him, but I've never seen him jealous before because I've never given him a reason to be.
"I think you should stay in the guest bedroom until you can find an apartment of your own. We need some time to think about whether this relationship is still one that we both want."
That gets his attention, and his eyes bolt to me, and he gently grips my hand across the armrest.
"Hey, hold on… Brynn, I'm sorry if I offended you, Ok? I didn't mean it. Maybe I got a little jealous and wanted to see what was going on between you, too. I'll admit to that. And I promise I'll ease off."
"I'm not ready to jump back into a full-fledged relationship with you. You hurt me when you broke it off and until I went to Mexico, I thought I deserved it. That I needed to fix myself to be worthy of our love, but I don't believe that anymore. There's so much that's changed over the eight years together. We're not those college kids anymore, and the last eight months since you've been gone have seemed like it created the biggest gap between us."
