Page 28 of Dare You To Love Me


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Her eyes searched mine. “Weren’t you? You’re a dick to everyone you meet. When we were kids, I remember you complaining about Filipe, though I don’t know what about. Filipe was as quiet as a church mouse in those days. It took me kissing him to get him to even talk to me.” She gave Filipe a toothy smile. “For the record, he hasn’t shut up since then.”

“Babe, your kisses are that powerful.”

I rolled my eyes at them but I wracked my brain to remember my earliest memories surrounding Filipe. I remember the pool, him attending school with me, his dad driving us around Malibu and Los Angeles to sporting events and swim meets, him joining us for family meals.

When you worked at the Vaulteneau estate, you were treated like family, with financial benefits to match. Their children’s education were paid for, even college. Filipe went to the same private school as me even though I knew, later on at least, that his father’s driver salary could not afford the steep tuition. When Filipe was accepted into USC, his college tuition was paid for by the Vaulteneau estate.

“Matty, you didn’t talk to me for at least six months, especially when I started attending swim lessons with you. You were absolutely furious that I was faster than you in the water.”

I was shocked into near silence. Not because I couldn’t believe it, but because I had zero recollection of that interaction.

“Filipe, I’m sorry, man. I don’t…” I stuttered. The sky was turning a darker gray and our smart watches started flashing, warning us about possible lightning. On the beach the lifeguard changed the yellow flag to red for pending strong currents. We’d need to head back to shore. “I don’t remember and that’s shitty unto itself.”

“Nothing to forgive, my friend.” He slapped my good shoulder affectionately, but his lips turned downward into a frown. “It was the same year that…um…well…”

I knew what he was trying to avoid saying aloud.

“The year my mom died,” I added. The year I completely blacked out, apparently.

Filipe made the sign of the cross while Joan squeezed my hand before we grabbed the next wave and surfed from Third Point to First Point to exit the water completely.

I thought we’d part ways but Joan asked, “Can we meet Ciaran? Anyone who riles you up this much is worth meeting. He must be a monster. Did he eat all the couch cushions?”

“I didn’t get a list of his dietary habits, Joan, but please, feel free to ask upon meeting him.”

She was a little too excited in my opinion to meet a dumb brat with a perfect mouth, but who was I to dissuade her?

12

CIARAN

There wasn’t much to unpack. My life and possessions amounted to a few stacks of clothes, novels and books about writing, my personal hygiene stuff, and electronics, to include my e-reader and laptop, which I placed prominently on the desk.

When I inspected the walk-in closet, the clothes and two pair of shoes that I’d brought barely made a dent in the space. Jeans and T-shirts might get me through a few casual events, but once Mom and Stefon returned from their honeymoon, I’d need a new wardrobe.

I had no clue how I was going to bullshit my way through tonight’s formal ordeal. Mom had new clothes, but I’d refused point-blank to let anyone buy anything for me. If I was going to buy a suit, I’d damn well go to the store myself and try on the clothing. Of course, in hindsight, I was regretting that decision now, because I didn’t want to embarrass Mom tonight.

Maybe I could ask Davies to drive me somewhere. My personal checking account had the money from selling the deli. I could afford a new suit; I just didn’t know where to find Davies and if I’d have time to do it before dinner tonight.

Then again, maybe I shouldn’t go to the dinner. I mean, who’d miss me? No one knew me and Mom would be too busy to notice.

Checking the time on my phone, I had a few hours to kill, and I didn’t want to spend it sulking in a room that felt more like a fancy hotel room than a haven.

Nervous energy thrummed through me. The best way to expend it was to swim. Mom had mentioned something about an Olympic-sized pool in one of the estate’s many basements, but I didn’t know where it was.

Out on the deck, I gazed out over the ocean…nature’s pool.

I could swim out there and be back before anyone realized I’d gone out. The sky, while gray, didn’t look too bad.

I took off my shirt and changed into my swim trunks and flip-flops. Not that I was sneaking out, but Matthias was nowhere to be seen when I crept downstairs. I wasn’t in the mood for his shitty attitude. I threaded through the kitchen and spied inside the refrigerator. In it, I spotted fully cooked meals, like casseroles, fruit, bottled water, milk, and white wine. I grabbed a banana from the island counter on the way out onto the patio.

The patio was entertainment friendly. Matthias must get a lot of use in the hot tub and the grill, not to mention the bar, the open fire pit, and the large flat screen television. Did he host parties here? Did he bring his girlfriend here?

When my eyes landed on the surfboards, it stopped me short. I knew the basics but wasn’t very skilled. That didn’t stop me from grabbing one and going in search of the white gravel path at the edge of the property.

When I came to a tall gate overflowing with scratchy bushes, I realized I could go out of the property without issue but noticed that it required a pin code to reenter. After more inspection, I saw that it had a call button, so worst case, I’d press it to gain admittance.

At the end of the path, stone steps took me down the steep cliff, and the rocky beach below. The air smelled salty and fishy. Someone was smoking a joint and I heard laughter further up the beach. A woman wearing a bulky sweater and walking a dog gave me a quizzical once-over as we passed each other.

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