AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I look at Stacy. She must know more than she’s told me. She does hedge every time I try to ask. We’re living on a ranch, and when the conversation moves to that topic, Stacy’s suddenly got somewhere to be. On a ranch!
What? Is she having tea parties with the fucking horses? Although she does spend a lot of time with the animals. Stacy has always loved horses. My heart warms. I am so grateful that she and Davy have decided to come with me. I’d have worried about them if I’d gone on my own.
“I’m so glad you and Davey came with me.” I feel my eyes mist over, thinking of what they did for me.
“We were always coming with you, Bella.” Stacy’s eyes darken with emotion. “Not a fucking chance were we going to let you out in the big bad world alone, and like you said, we’re family.”
Sitting up, I reach over and take her hand. “Please, tell me about my father, Konstantin, and what’s up between the two of you.” She’s about to do that thing where she hedges and suddenly has to be somewhere. “And this time, you’re not suddenly going to remember a riding or self-defense training session.”
“Bella.” Stacy’s face crumples, and she looks at me pleadingly. “Please wait for Konstantin.”
“No!” The word comes out a lot more forceful than I meant it to, and I see her flinch. “Sorry.” I hold up my hand. “Stacy, I’ve had things kept from me my entire life. I feel like a mushroom being kept in the dark and fed a lot of shit.”
“It wasn’t all shit.”
“Really?” My brows raise, giving her an are you fucking kidding me look. “Shit, people must think I’m a naive kid seeing everything through the rose-colored glasses my father designed for me.” I see her open her mouth to say something, but I cut her off. “And no, that is not a woe-is-me thing. I just can’t believe I’ve lived in this cocoon, slap in the middle of a crime family, and I didn’t even realize it.” My eyes close. “Fuck, people must I’m such an idiot or entitled little princess.”
“No one thinks that, Bella.”
“Andrey does!” Shit. And there he is, popping into my thoughts again. “I thought he was referring to me as a princess because he thought I was an entitled bratty rich girl.” I take a breath. “Now I know it was because I’m an entitled, bratty, rich mafia princess.”
“I’m sure he realized you weren’t aware of who your father really was,” Stacy consoles me.
“But you knew.” Shit, I didn’t mean to sound so accusing. Stacy blows out a breath.
“Yes.” Stacy nods, and her eyes drop.
“Everyone’s probably thinking, how could I not know who my father really was?” I fall back against the pillow with my hands over my face. “It’s been right there in front of me all this time.”
Jesus, I hate myself for being such a pathetic whiny woe-is me bitch right now. But this is not about woes. This is about my entire life being one big fucking lie. I feel like Jim Carey in The Truman Show, where Truman had been living his whole life in a reality show, and he didn’t even know it.
People were playing parts in my life, and an entire world was crafted to keep me from seeing the truth.
My eyes widen. What if Stacy’s one of the characters my father planted in my life? Like an NPC in a video game to make it look more realistic. Shit, I’m not Truman, I’m Free Guy! I’ve been living in a neatly constructed video game world with my father as the game designer and player.
No, I can’t think of Stacy like that. I’m sure Konstantin would’ve known if she was. I still don’t understand why he hates our father so much, why or how he was shipped to Russia. More importantly, no one has told me why the fuck my father told me he was dead. Did he even know Konstantin was still alive?
“Your father made sure everyone in your life didn’t know who he really was, and everyone close to you who did know was careful not to tell you,” Stacy explains. “Your father is a scary fucking man. He has something on everyone in your life.”
“Does he have anything on you?”
Her eyes widen in surprise. My heart sinks. No, please don’t let my fears about Stacy be true—don’t let her be an NPC placed in my life by my father.
“Yes.”
And there goes my heart shattering onto the floor at my feet before the fear, suspicion, and anger start seeping through my veins. My eyes narrow. I have to stop myself from pulling my feet off Stacy’s lap so she doesn’t know I’m feeling these emotions—no more flying off the handle and letting my emotions affect my strategies.
“What?” Don’t snap, Isabella. I give myself a stern talking-to. Remain calm. Level headed. “What does my father have on you?” Uh-oh. My brain is just not shifting into gear in time to stop my tongue from lashing out. “Is that why you’re here? Have you been my friend this whole time because my father made you? Are you just an NPC positioned in my life, by my father?”
Okay, that was not calm and level-headed. I give myself a mental shake. That was more like a war cry.
“What?” Stacy looks like I’ve just slapped her across the face. “No!” She shakes her head. “God, Bella, you’re my best friend. The only… the only…” She swallows and nearly gasps as the shadows in her eyes darken and are laced with fear. “The only safe space I had growing up. Well, besides when we went to boarding school.” She turns to me. “Even after I found out who your father was, your house was the only place that felt like a home or a place where I wasn’t always afraid that…”
“What?” My brows are knitted so tightly together that I’m starting to get a headache as I try to figure out what the fuck she’s talking about. “Stacy, what the hell do you mean?”
Stacy runs a hand through her hair before hugging my legs once again. “Promise you won’t hate me?” Her eyes meet mine, and this time, I suck in a breath at the pain in them. “Or judge me? I know I’m broken, but when I’m around you, Davey, Genevra, Konstantin, and …” She swallows. “Well, you all make me feel safe, you know. Like I can mend and be a whole person.”
“Jesus, Stacy!” I breathe, sitting up and swinging my legs off her lap to fold them in front of me. “Why on earth would I ever judge you? You’ve always had my back, been my strength, and the person I lived the life I want to live through.”
