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“I got here, and Zoey was all ‘go live your best life,’” I mimic her, “‘go do things you wouldn’t do in New York.’” I roll my eyes. “YOLO at life.” I make up the last bit. “So I went to this bar and well…”
“He was behind the bar.”
“He was, and I was like, damn, he is fine,” I sing, “and then he refused to let me drive home because I was drinking, so he said he would drive me home.”
“And you were going to let a stranger drive you home?” Her tone is telling me that was dumb.
“It’s the South. Everyone knows everyone,” I play it off. “Anyway, you’ll be happy to know he never drove me home.” My voice goes down. “We had sex in the office, and then I sort of—” I think about how to say this. “Left when he was sleeping.”
“Holy shit.”
“Anyway.” I ignore her gasp. “I saw him at the Christmas fair, and he was with his son and…”
“Patricia.” She fills in her name for me, and the back of my neck heats.
“Yeah, and I thought he was married, so again, I got the fuck out of Dodge.” I take a deep inhale. “And then he showed up, and I was like ‘you’re a lying jerk’ and then he was like ‘you left me.’” She groans. “And he made me breakfast and left.”
“He made you breakfast and left.” She repeats the last part. “You are supposed to be there to find yourself again.”
“I came to get away from things.”
“Away from things, not under things,” she hisses.
“I wasn’t always under. I was on top a couple of times,” I snap, and she fake vomits.
“This is going to be so, so bad,” she groans.
“It’s not going to be bad,” I reassure her. “We said we won’t tell anyone.”
“You think no one is going to know?” She laughs. “Everyone is going to know; it’s going to spread like wildfire.”
“It’s not because I know and you know,” I point out, “and Gabriel knows, but no one else knows.” I catch myself. “Zoey knows, but she doesn’t know who, so it’s still just the three of us. We can keep a secret. Don’t give him my number,” I quickly add.
“He knows where you are,” she reminds me, making me ball my fist and punch the sky in frustration.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s done. It’s over. It was one time plus a onetime thing, and it’ll never happen again.”
She laughs but not a real laugh, more of a why-are-you-so-dumb laugh. “If that is what you think, you are barking up the wrong tree.”
“No one is barking, and there is no tree.” I get up. “Now, I’m going to go to the grocery store, and then I’m going to go for a walk.”
“And then do my cousin a little more.” She snickers. “If your brother finds out…”
“No one is going to find out, I promise.” I walk down the stairs. “I pinky swear I will not tell a soul, and I will not do your cousin again.” Even saying the words, I know that it might be a lie. But I’m committed to standing by my word. As long as he doesn’t kiss me, touch me, or look in my direction, I think I’ll be fine.
“I never want to talk about this again,” she scolds. “Now, your nephew is up and thinks my breast should be in his mouth every second he’s awake.”
“Goodbye and kiss the gremlin for me,” I tell her as I hang up, and the minute I do I wish I’d gotten Gabriel’s number to tell him that he is not to come back to this house.
I put on my sneakers, grab the black puffer vest, making sure I have the house key, and pick up my purse and phone. I’m getting into the SUV when the phone rings, and I answer it without checking. “Hello.” I put the phone to my ear, slamming the door shut.
“Zara,” Daniel says, “I didn’t think you would answer.”
“I thought I blocked you,” I reply, putting my head back. “What do you want?”
“We have to talk.”
“Really? I’m pretty sure I said everything I needed to say, and I don’t really care to hear anything you have to say, so I think we are good.”
