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“Clean break.”
“He’s really done with me, isn’t he?”
“Not for me to answer. I don’t know what goes through his head. This shit has me in an awkward spot.”
“I know. I'm sorry. I don’t mean to drag you into the middle.” The last thing I want is for my brother to fight my battle. He does enough for me as it is.
“Go see Roane. We’ll go look at a few places after this run.”
“If you need to let me go, I understand.”
“Nah, it’s all good. Just next time, give me a heads up. You’re one of my best and usually most dependable.”
“I’m sorry for letting you down. It won’t happen again.”
“Sorry things didn’t work out between you and Smoke. Thought y'all was going for the long haul.”
“I don’t know. Maybe we both knew better, but went for it anyway.”
“Been there.” He chuckles. “But hell, you never know what life has in store. Jules and I dated when we were kids, and I never thought I’d see her again and one day there she was. Back in town, visiting Pam. Showed up at the clubhouse and I made sure not to lose her a second time. Life might send you down two different paths that will meet again in the middle one day.”
“You think so?”
“Fuck if I know, but there's always what if?”
Yeah, and there’s too many what ifs going through my head, currently.
What if Smoke meets someone? Even worse, what if he brings her here or never returns at all?
I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. All I think about is him and where he is or who he is with. I keep replaying that scene in my head like a never-ending soul crushing nightmare. I can’t believe he did that. Was he doing it all along?
Will he take Angel to California? I’ve not attempted to find out. Is that why he isn’t texting or calling? Is he with her?
The thought of him with another woman makes me want to die.
Not literally, but it makes me sick enough to think I might be dying a slow death.
People die of broken hearts all the time.
Maybe I’m going to be one of them.
I miss him so much I can hardly think straight.
“You all set for your first appointment of the day?”
“Yeah. I promise that my personal life won’t impede my job performance. I’m good. Send them on back.” I’m anything but good. My heart is in tatters. I have no idea where I’m going to live. What I’m going to do. I just want Smoke, and I can’t have him.
I’ve still not spoken with Creed, not that I’ve expected to hear from him at all. He knew the score and so did I. Onetime deal. I needed something for the pain, and he happened to be my temporary remedy.
“Cool. Glad to hear it. But you know if things get tough, you can talk to me or Jules. You know she thinks you’re the tits.” Roane winks at me and slaps a palm against the door frame.
“Thanks, I think.” I smile to myself as I hear him talking to someone up front in the waiting area.
As if fate wants to call me a liar, Creed enters the room. His massive presence and energy dominate the small workspace. “Hey, beautiful.”
“Hi. What kind of tattoo are you interested in?” I plan to keep this strictly professional. I won’t be tempted by his charm or rugged good looks simply because I’m lonely and missing Smoke. Nursing my broken heart and blaming myself. Wondering if I drove him to this. Did he do it out of revenge? Hurt me because I hurt him.
Creed flashes a dimple at me. “Something simple. Behind my left ear.”
