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“You’re jealous.”
“No.”
“Babe.” He gives me this look that says he’s so over my shit.
“I hate that you’ve fucked so many people.”
“There it is. Some honesty. I can’t change that about myself, but I’ve been faithful. What will it take for you to see past that shit? Want to go get a cheap thrill? Need to fuck someone else so you can even the score?”
“I never said that.”
“Then stop punishing me for shit that happened before you and for shit I can’t change. I know I fucked up when we first met, but I’ve been trying to make it up to you every damn day since.”
“I’m not punishing you.”
“Then why are you here and why are we arguing? Why do you shut me down every time I bring up marriage? Either you don’t trust me, or you don’t want to be with me, Ember. Which is it?”
“I trust you. It’s me I worry about.” My words don’t come out the way I intend, but I’m not going to stand here and argue about our personal life at the entrance of a fuck club.
“Fuck.” He cups the back of his neck and hangs his head as he stares at his boots. “Come on. Let’s put this shit to bed right now.” He grabs my hand and tugs me through the mouth of the snake into a world I never imagined existed.
Chapter Five
Macabre music plays through the sound system as Smoke leads me like a lamb to the slaughter of this unusual club. The atmosphere is dark, with small flickers of candlelight combing from the candelabra style chandeliers overhead.
I have zero idea where Sabrina is. I can barely see Smoke in front of me in his dark clothes. Eventually, he leads me into another room that isn’t much brighter.
I make out what appears to be a bar to my right, but up ahead there are some high back booths, all facing what appears to be a stage area closed off by black velvet curtains. Smoke shoves me into one of the booths that’s curved for privacy, so whoever is in the next booth can’t see us.
“What are we doing? Where’s Sabrina?”
“Sit here and don’t move. I’ll be back,” he barks at me.
I don’t appreciate his tone but do as he says. Only because I’m freaking out and have no idea what’s happening.
Moments later, a shirtless man with leather straps crisscrossed over his chest with tight leather pants approaches me with a drink. He doesn’t speak to me. Simply places a mixed drink on the table. His muscles glisten under the sparse lighting. He’s not my type and if Smoke put something like that on, I’d lose it. It’s hard not to laugh now. My nerves are a jumbled mess. My anxiety spikes as anticipation for what will happen next looms.
I can’t see anyone. I don’t know where Sabrina is or Smoke, for that matter. What are we doing here? Did Sabrina lie to me? Is she trying to get back at Jimmy?
Seconds or minutes, I’m not sure how much time has lapsed when Smoke returns without my best friend.
“Did you find her?”
“Yup. Sent her home.”
“Why?”
“You’ll see.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I hiss out at him, tired of whatever this dance is we’re doing.
“Your friend, as much as I don’t like her, can do better. She needs to get her head straight and you…” He shakes his head.
“I what?”
“Need put to the test. You kissed Trenton, and I thought we got that whacked shit out of your head. Guess it’s a good thing we’re here since you don’t trust yourself. Perfect place to sort your head. Cause, babydoll, way I see it, there’s only two directions we’re headed. Either we’re moving forward or we’re moving in different directions.”
My stomach clenches at his words. The idea of being without Smoke isn’t something I want to think about, and I don’t want to be with anyone else, but he’s right. I need to work through this uncertainty. The easier thing to do would be sharing my secret. I’m scared to play that card and push him further away.
