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Desperate to get lost in a life that isn’t mine. Sirens warn in my head that this is poison, but I could die right here in his arms. I’ve never been kissed like this in my life.
The ringing of his cell phone from his back pocket breaks the spell. All the magic disappears. I pull away and he lets out a huff.
“What?” he snaps, then pauses. “We went out for pizza because there wasn’t shit to eat there and no one was home. Yeah. We’re on our way.” He tucks his phone back in his pocket.
My stomach rumbles, reminding me I didn’t even get to try the pizza.
“Everything okay?”
“Yup. John wondered where we were. I forgot to leave a note. Normally he wouldn’t care where I am or what I’m doing but seems he’s keeping tabs on his precious niece.”
“Don’t you guys get along?”
“Nope. He always wanted a child of his own, and well, all he got was me, so he’s bitter. The feeling is mutual.”
“That has to suck.”
“Don’t stress it. I don’t.”
Chapter Five
The moment we arrived home, I went straight to my room, and I gathered my stuff for the shower. Exhaustion hits me like a ton of bricks. I can hardly keep my eyes open as the hot water sprays down on me. That is, until what I thought was the bathroom closet door opens, and I peer out the curtain to see Kyson.
He’s achingly beautiful to gawk at. Broody and mysterious. Full of secrets and danger that only serve to hurt anyone who dares to go near him, and yet I crave the violence of him like I’ve never tasted anything as beautiful as his attention. The warmth of his lips.
“Get out,” I whisper yell, not wanting anyone else to hear us.
“We both know you don’t want me to leave.”
I hate that he’s right. That he sees straight through me. I steel my spine and gather my resolve before I make another mistake. Before I betray Matt again.
“Yes, I do. Go. Now. Before I scream bloody murder so fast, your head will spin.”
“You should lock the door next time. This door leads to my room. Come on over when you’re through.” He shoots me a shit-eating grin and leaves.
Ugh. I may kill him. My dad is probably rolling over in his grave. I twist the purity ring on my finger, remembering the promise I made to save myself for marriage. At the time, I’d only started talking to Matt and Dad was worried to death that I’d get pregnant or something. I can’t recall his precise explanation at the time. He gave me the ring on my fifteenth birthday. I only agreed because the gesture seemed important to him. Not that I’m in a hurry for sex, but I’ve definitely thought about it a lot. Especially when things would get passionate with Matt in the backseat of his car.
And yet it strikes me that I never felt this level of intensity when we were alone that I experience when Kyson looks at me. Sure, I adore my boyfriend, but he was always the one to stop us before we went too far. What crackled between us was nowhere near this electric. Maybe I’m lonely. Is this what it means to act rebellious?
I finish my shower, towel off, get dressed for bed, and brush my teeth. The house is quiet, and I hope Kyson will leave me alone so I can get some sleep. Unpacking will have to wait until tomorrow. My cell phone is flashing with missed calls and messages. All from Matt. We agreed that we’d catch up this weekend. Life is hectic for us both. He’s in his freshman year at college and it’s my senior year of high school.
I should end things. It isn’t like we’ll ever get to see each other. I trust him, but it isn’t fair to expect him to wait for me, either. A lot can happen in a year.
I haven’t told him that I’m not sure if going to college straight away is what I want. That was the plan. We’d attend the same school. Freshman year I’d live in my dorm, but the next summer we’d get an apartment together. Then my father passed away and life changed. I’ve changed in ways I can’t explain. He wouldn’t understand.
I’m no longer that girl with a perfectly detailed view of her future life.
Of the life we’d been planning. Family dinners. Listening to our fathers bicker over who would man the grill and buy the beer. The two of us laughing about the latest friend his mom would attempt to set my dad up with.
That pretty picture is ripped in half. The half with my dad and me has been stripped away completely.
We were a team. Even through his failed relationships, it was always the two of us.
Matt says that nothing has changed on his end. How do I tell him I no longer want those things?
Hey, just checking on things. Did your flight go okay? Is your uncle treating you well?
I know we said we’d give each other a little space to settle in, but I miss you. We haven’t spoken much since the funeral and the way things ended…I need to see you.
