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“Yeah, me too,” he says. “Fuck, I’ve never been around kids. I haven’t seen a baby in I don’t even know how long.” He laughs.
I chuckle awkwardly. “I’m sure a lot of it will come naturally.”
“For you, maybe,” he says. A few minutes later, a waitress comes by to bring me some water. I order a Shirley Temple and Jax and I struggle our way through some pretty awkward small talk.
During the entire encounter, I can’t stop thinking about Luke. I’m wondering where he is. Is he with her? Will he kiss her at midnight? Will he come home to me? He wouldn’t bring her home, but would he go to her house?
This is just how badly he’s gotten into my head. I’m here with Jax, the man of my dreams, the guy I crushed so hard over for months, and whose baby I’m about to have by some miracle. And I can’t stop thinking about my grumpy, possessive English teacher.
What on earth have I gotten myself into?
Jax tells me all about how he’s trying to expand his business from FanVids to “real porn,” as he calls it. But he doesn’t want to be written off as some porn star. He wants to be next level.
Although I don’t really understand anything that he’s saying, I do my best. I try to write off the fact that some of his comments are a little problematic by telling myself that he just doesn’t know any better and he means well. But the way he talks about sex work is sort of demeaning and disappointing.
He continues to get drunk while I am painfully sober. And it’s only ten thirty. I start to make a plan for how I’m going to sneak my way out of this date before twelve because there’s no chance I’ll be here at the stroke of midnight.
When I get up from our table to go use the bathroom, it’s on my way back that I hear a very familiar voice from near the bar. I stop in my tracks as I stare at the tall, blonde, beautiful woman with her hand resting on Luke’s arm. He says something that makes her laugh, so she throws her head back and cackles loudly.
I watch her nails dig into the gray fabric of his shirt as she squeezes his arm. Everything in me tenses when he smiles at her. The way they’re standing so close, the way they’re looking at each other, the way she leans in to hear what he’s saying—it all stabs relentlessly at my heart.
I need to get out of here.
It’s the first thought in my head. I can’t be here to witness this. I’d rather be home.
The old me would have used this as fuel to throw myself at Jax. I’d make sure Luke was around to watch me kissing Jax at midnight. I’d make sure that he saw me just to make him feel the way he’s making me feel right now.
But I’m not out for revenge. Right now, I’m just trying to breathe through how painful this feels.
Then the tall blonde looks right at me. Quickly, I avert my gaze and make my way over to Jax.
Except there are two girls sitting in my seat. They are sharing my one barstool with their two tiny asses. They’re young and beautiful, and they’re flirting with him. Oohing and aahing over his muscles and his dimples and his bright smile and how tall he is.
“Sadie,” a voice from behind me gets my attention as I turn to find Luke staring at me.
Immediately, I try to discern which version of Luke I’m getting right now. Is it my friend who often shows concern and can laugh with me? Or is it the stern, broody professor who likes to find reasons to discipline me?
“What are you doing here?” he asks. And the inflection in his tone tells me that it’s the former, but I’m not exactly sure which one I was hoping for.
Maybe I wanted the Dominant to bend me over this barstool and spank me to make me feel better.
I point behind me, where Jax is still talking to the two young women. “He invited me out for a drink,” I say. “I had no idea you were here.”
He glances behind me to see Jax, and I watch his expression change. His brow furrows, his mouth tenses, his jaw clicks.
The tall blonde comes up behind Luke, resting her hand on his shoulder almost possessively, and I resist the urge to lash out and bite her.
“Oh, hey,” Jax says as if he just noticed I’m giving my attention to someone else. His hand rests on my hip, and he tugs me toward him so the four of us are all just staring at each other. The two girls are gone, so Jax casually invites Luke and the hot English teacher, whose name I still don’t know, to join us.
I grimace internally.
This is going to be a disaster.
Thirty
Lucas
I’m fuming, and I have absolutely no right to be.
