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I want Luke. But the longer we continue with this, the more it will hurt when it’s time to say goodbye.
When we finally get out of bed, Luke goes to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, and I hop into the shower. The entire time I stand under the spray, I think about last night and relive every moment.
The way he looked at me as he filled me to the hilt. The sounds he made as he pounded into me. The feel of his fingers intertwined with mine.
That wasn’t just fucking. Fucking would have involved far less eye contact and delicate touches. Luke made our first time special.
When I step out of the shower, I hear Sam Cooke playing in the living room, which means Luke is in a good mood. The semester is almost over. He just found out he’s getting the job of his dreams. His brother just became a dad.
He’s on cloud nine.
I wish I could feel happier for him.
I slip on a simple dress for class and throw some beach wave product in my hair because I don’t have the energy to blow-dry and straighten it today. It’s getting too long anyway.
As I’m throwing on some mascara, my phone buzzes again. Assuming it’s Sage replying to my text, I pick up and freeze as I read Jax’s name on the screen.
It was great seeing you last night. I realize I’ve been a total asshole to you. Do you have plans tonight? I’d love to see you.
I read the message over and over again. What is happening? He wants to see me? For what?
Is this about the baby or about me?
Should I ask that?
Instead, I settle on something safe and noncommittal.
It was great seeing you, too! I don’t know my plans for tonight, but I’ll text you later.
Then, because I start to feel bad, I add…
And you totally have not been an asshole.
I mean, he sort of has. But at least he’s acknowledging that, right?
What if he wants to give us a try? What if there’s still a chance for a romance here? I owe it to the baby to at least try, right? Even if Jax and I could just establish some sort of relationship, we could co-parent, and I’d have some help. I need that.
As I walk into the living room, I decide not to tell Luke about the text from Jax. I don’t need him judging me for my response or the fact that I’m considering this.
Besides, I don’t want it to tarnish the good mood he’s in.
We decide to ride together to class today. It’s a risk, and normally, we never do this, but I enjoy this reckless side of Luke. Showing up to campus with his pregnant student in his car is definitely enough to raise some eyebrows, but he parks in the back of the student lot, and I get out first, walking to class before him because I always have to stop at the bathroom first—even if I went right before we left.
As I walk out of the bathroom stall, a beautiful, tall woman in black heels comes into the bathroom. I glance up from the sink and our eyes meet briefly.
“Good morning,” she says in a greeting, and it seems like that’s all she’s about to say, but then she pauses and says, “Oh, we’ve met. You’re Dr. Goode’s student, aren’t you?”
I swallow, drying my hands on a paper towel. “Yes.”
“He talks about you a lot,” she says, crossing her arms as she leans against the white tile wall.
All I can think about is that day at the library when she invited him to dinner and kept fucking touching him. And now, to hear that she talks to him a lot when I’m not around—even if it is about me—grates on my nerves.
“He does,” I reply, not quite like a question but more of a statement.
“I think you make him like teaching,” she adds. “Of course, don’t tell anyone I said that. He really wants to submit your name for that grant, but as long as you’re a business major…”
“I’m a business major for a reason,” I reply a little too coldly.
