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I wish I could understand why she is so nice to him. Why doesn’t she tell him what a piece of shit he is for abandoning her through this pregnancy? Why doesn’t she understand she deserves so much more?
I wish I could spank her tonight. I need to feel that connection to her that only comes from those intense, visceral moments. But I don’t feel right doing that anymore—for multiple reasons.
I have another idea instead.
“My room,” I say. My voice is deep, just above a whisper.
“Okay,” she replies softly.
She opens the door and climbs out, but before she closes it, I say, “Miss Green.”
Pausing, she stares at me and waits.
“Naked,” I add. For a moment, I’m afraid she’ll argue or hesitate. Maybe I’m going too far. Maybe this fire burning between us is just me.
We both know this is reckless, but after the news today, I don’t want to push her away anymore. I want to pull her closer and savor every second I have left. And I’m not holding back anymore.
Her expression doesn’t change as she nods. “Okay.”
Then I watch as she slams the door and disappears into the house. As soon as she’s gone, I let out a heavy sigh.
This is going to hurt like a bitch. That much is clear. Not tonight. Tonight will be heavenly.
But the day I have to walk away from her and the baby, that day will be torture.
Have I briefly considered backing out and staying behind? Yes. More than briefly, actually.
I pondered it a lot today. I tried to picture what my life would look like if I said fuck it and stayed with Sadie. Made her more than a friend. Raised a baby with her.
It looks beautiful—like a dream.
But it’s not my dream. That’s not my life. It’s someone else’s dream.
How long until I resent Sadie for ruining my future? How long until I regret it? Every moment with her and the baby won’t be a dream. Some days will be awful and I’ll grow bitter.
Then, before I know it, I’ll turn into my father.
I’ll begrudge them both for not filling the hole in my life with their presence and their love. I’ll start to hate that love.
I won’t do to Sadie and the baby what my father did to us. I’ll love her until the very last moment, and then I’ll let her go.
I’ve made my mind up. It’s for the best.
As I climb out of the car, my blood is coursing through my veins so fast that I can practically hear the pulse in my ears. The house is quiet as I enter, and I make her wait as I remove my shoes by the front door, neatly setting them to the side.
When I reach my bedroom, there’s only one small lamp lit, so the room is dim. Sadie is standing in the middle of the room, waiting for me.
Like I instructed her to, she’s removed every stitch of clothing. I let my eyes take their fill of her perfect body. I’ve seen every part of her in small doses, but this view is enough to send me off to heaven. Her breasts are full and heavy with tight, pebbled nipples that match the freckles on her cheeks. The swell of her stomach is more evident than I’ve seen it before. Even her belly button has started to flatten, and even though it’s not biologically my child in there, the sight of her like this has me feeling downright feral.
Her round, plush hips look so soft to the touch I’m practically drooling. All I want to do is grasp them, squeeze them, hold them while I fuck her. Her thick thighs beckon to me, and I can’t wait to lose myself in them and feel them wrapped around me.
She’s standing proudly in the middle of the room, so we’re face to face. Slowly, I peel open each button of my shirt, and her eyes track the movement.
“You seem to have forgotten who you belong to,” I say as I slide my shirt from around my shoulders.
She lifts her chin defiantly.
My little devil.
