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I drag in a breath before starting. “Luke…spanked me.”
Sage’s face is frozen in disbelief. “Spanked you?”
“Yes. After class.”
Her expression tightens. “Did he hurt you?”
“No,” I answer quickly. “I mean…not any more than I wanted him to.”
“So…you wanted him to…” she says with the tone of a question.
“Yes…” I reply uneasily.
Sage shakes her head. “Okay, start over.”
That’s when I tell her everything, from the argument in class to the fight afterward, even last night’s discussion about the terms of our new living arrangement and how things should be. She doesn’t look less confused at any point in the story, which is a bad sign.
“Wow…”
“Yeah,” I reply.
“You guys have some intense sexual chemistry.”
My spine straightens. “What? No. That’s not…no. We don’t…”
With that, Sage begins to laugh. “Do you hear yourself?”
“Sage, Luke and I do not have sexual anything. He’s a pompous control freak and not my type at all. We’re just living together until he hopefully leaves for England. I can rent his place on my own. Maybe even date a normal guy and settle down.”
She rubs her belly as her eyes narrow. “He just spanked you, and you rubbed one out minutes later. I’d call that pretty sexual.”
“Ugh,” I groan, putting my face in my hands.
“Maybe you two need to just do it and get it out of your systems,” she says with a shrug.
“Absolutely not,” I say, shaking my head.
“Okay, fine. But you have to admit that you’re sort of falling into kinky roles with each other. It sounds to me like you want him to be your Dom, and he wants that, too.”
Biting my bottom lip, I don’t even bother trying to argue with that. She’s right. I do want that in some weird way. I’ve even made it somewhat clear to him. But was I putting too much pressure on him today? Did I coerce him into something he didn’t want?
Sage’s soft hand touches my knee. “You need to talk to him. That’s step one. Figure out exactly what you both want out of this situation. And hey, you can always have a Dom/sub dynamic without the sex. People do it all the time.”
I roll my eyes. “No, they don’t. Sex always becomes part of the equation. Trying to separate kink from sex is like trying to separate sex from feelings.”
Sage shakes her head, clearly disagreeing with me but not bothering to argue.
“Listen,” she says after a moment. “Take my advice. Talk to him because if you don’t, and you just continue to get on his nerves to get a reaction out of him, I guarantee it will end with sex. So if that’s not what you want…talk it out.”
“Fine,” I mumble under my breath.
After leaving Sage’s, I head back to the house. Luke’s not there, so I use that time to do homework and a bit of reading. I need to make a doctor’s appointment to get this whole pregnancy situation checked out, but I’m dreading that, so it keeps getting shoved down the to-do list.
Halfway through my statistics homework, I stretch out on the couch and fall asleep with my book and calculator on my chest. But when I wake up, they’re both stacked on the coffee table, along with the pen and notebook I left in class. I hear movement in the kitchen, but I pretend to be asleep for a while to avoid the awkward conversation I don’t want to have.
I still don’t know what I want to say. I’m a grown-ass woman who was spanked like a child—and I liked it. I can’t ask for that. Not from someone I’m not even in a relationship with. If Luke and I were dating, it would be different.
When it becomes unavoidable, I eventually sit up from the couch and turn to face the man sitting at the dining room table.
