AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You look so handsome.” I smiled, tilting my head back to see him better. I ran my fingertips along his smooth cheek.
Ken smirked down at me. “So do you.”
“I look handsome?” I wrinkled my nose.
“Women can be handsome.”
“Not when they’re wearing a sparkly tulle ballgown and a tiara!” I pointed at the top of my head. “This updo took two hours!”
“You probably should have dressed like a pharaoh instead of a princess. Have you seen our cake?”
I snorted. “Oh my God. People keep asking me if we’re going to Egypt on our honeymoon.”
“Have you seen it in the last fifteen minutes?”
I eyed him suspiciously. “No…why?”
Ken’s steely smile widened. “The little bride and groom slid off the top and completely fucked the icing up on one side.”
I doubled over, as much as my corseted dress would allow, as a series of unladylike cackles tore out of me. “Oh my God! This place is haunted!” I shrieked. “I’m not going back in there!”
“Didn’t you pay for the bar in advance?” Ken raised an eyebrow at me.
“You make an excellent point, sir.” I straightened my tiara and took Ken’s proffered elbow. “Lead the way.”
By the time the ceremony started, I couldn’t give two shits who was late or what was missing or where the fuck my flowers were. I was half-drunk and one hundred percent sure that I’d never made a better decision in my life.
When Ken and I locked eyes from opposite ends of the aisle, we smiled at each other like old pals. When we took turns reciting our vows—both sets written by me, of course—we tried not to laugh. When it was time to kiss, ours lasted a little too long to be appropriate. And, when the judge announced that we were husband and wife, Ken and I walked down the aisle to “All You Need Is Love” by The Beatles, just like they did in his new favorite Hugh Grant movie, Love Actually.
After dinner was served and the speeches were made and King Tut’s tomb was sliced, the DJ turned the inside of the manor house into a nightclub, fully equipped with a disco ball, glow-in-the-dark accessories for all the guests, and a wall-rattling pop and hip-hop playlist that included a few ’90s alternative jams just for us.
My dad put on a top hat and did the YMCA dance. Somebody got wasted and peed in a potted plant next to the dance floor. Juliet spilled her champagne down the front of my dress about an hour before the hem got caught on my high heel and ripped off. And Ken, Allen, and the Alexander brothers serenaded us—yes, Ken sang in front of real people—with some cheesy song from Top Gun.
Our wedding was a clusterfuck, a total shitshow, from start to finish, but as soon as we were together, Ken and I had the time of our lives. And isn’t that what you want in a partner? Somebody who laughs when you burn dinner and orders take-out? Somebody who looks at a wrong turn on the interstate as an opportunity to listen to your favorite album a little longer? Somebody who loves you at your worst, knowing you’re on your way to becoming your best?
That night, my husband carried me and my ripped, stained ballgown across the threshold of the house we shared…and into a magical wonderland filled with little votive candles and rose petals the color of our front door. He helped me out of my dress, which stood up on its own after I stepped out of it, and I helped him out of his suit.
Lying on his back as I climbed on top of his naked body, Ken returned my enthusiastic kisses. As I slid along his length, he lifted his hips to meet me. When I tugged on his sandy-brown hair, he gingerly removed the tiara from mine. While I bit his earlobe and nipped at his neck, Ken carefully plucked each bobby pin from my bun until my auburn curls tumbled all around us. Then, as he massaged my aching scalp, Ken pushed inside me with one slow, deep thrust.
“Mmmmmm…” I moaned in ecstasy, sucking on the middle finger of his free hand.
When I looked down at him, Ken met my gaze and arched an eyebrow at me. “How drunk are you?”
“Preh-y drunk,” I mumbled around his finger.
He smirked, a wicked gleam in his eye. “Drunk enough for butt stuff?”
I stilled, mulling it over, and then nodded, Ken’s hand in my mouth moving up and down along with my head. “Definilly drunk nuff.”
