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Rakell: Not yet. Getting anxious, but Ana seems confident. They called her again about my schedule and compensation. But I know not to get too hopeful in this business…Send
Jake: They’ll be lucky to have you…Send
Rakell: THANK YOU! Ana sent my profile to a talent place in Nashville for possible parts in music videos. It’s all about exposure, so I am not saying no to anything…Send
Jake: I’d like to make a video with you (devil emoji)…Send
Rakell: That would be one way for us both to get famous…Send
Rakell: Oh, never mind, you’re already famous and I’m attaching myself to your coattails…Send
Jake: Ignore those comments. They’re just people behind phones who have no idea who we are or how great our relationship is…Send
Rakell: Ana wants me to post more pictures, videos, and much more content featuring you…her words. But it just invites the naysayers…Send
Jake: It’s a double-edged sword; keeps you relevant and exposed at the same time…Send
Rakell: ME exposed to all the women out there who don’t think I’m the right match for THE Jake Skyler!...Send
Jake: Well, I’ve seen quite a few guys' comments and a couple of women's about wanting to see more of you!...Send
Rakell: Sure mate, in between all the ones about my stretchmarks, or sagging boobs, or messy hair, or how I should get braces. “She has a vampire tooth” etc.…Send
Jake: Fuck them!! BTW: you can drink my blood any time…Send
Rakell: Weirdo…keep that between us! Bye, I see Melissa…Send
Jake: Give big hugs for me. She needs it…Send
Rakell: I know! Will do!…Send
Rakell stood when she saw Melissa walking toward the cabana they’d reserved for the day. She smiled, waving at Melissa, watching her navigate her way around the pool in a citrusy-colored halter sundress, a color somewhere between tangerine and ripe lemon, the straps of her white swimsuit peeking out around her neck. The dress was contoured to her narrow waist and torso, spilling into a round, loose skirt that she’d paired with navy-blue espadrilles. The vibrant material spotlighted Melissa’s fair skin and strawberry blond hair as the Texas sun created a halo around the wispy strands falling along her cheeks, highlighting the reddish hue with buttery blond undertones. Melissa reached into a straw beach bag, pulled out a white Capone-looking straw hat with a black ribbon, and secured it on her head. When she saw Rakell, she smiled and waved back.
Rakell immediately wished she’d put a little more effort into getting ready today. She’d gone to a Pilates session with Olga this morning and afterward quickly put on a chambray-colored cover-up resembling an oversized men’s cowboy shirt. She’d piled her hair into a messy bun on her head, skipping any makeup before slipping on some flip-flops. Melissa greeted her with a big hug before sitting on one of the chaise lounges in the cabana.
“You look great. I kind of just threw on something after Pilates, thinking we’d be getting in the pool,” Rakell said, a hint of apology in her voice.
Melissa touched the skirt of her dress before bending to undo the strap on her espadrilles. “No, please, I had two meetings this morning. Dad picked the kids up at eight, and I was out the door, first to meet with a liquor brand and then to stop by one of the boutiques I took you to…We’ll Never Tell. Actually, I got this dress for forty-eight dollars. They were trying to give it to me after you and I’d visited, but I insisted on buying it,” she said, kicking off her wedges.
“I love their name and its meaning, offering beautiful clothing at affordable prices…so never tell how much you paid for it. That’s perfect. Well, you look beautiful. I’m glad we get to do this. They already brought a fruit tray and water but said they would return for drinks.”
“Rakell, you have no idea how much I needed this today. I wished we could have started drinking before lunch. Still, I had to do both the meetings and…” She hesitated, then went on, “Then I had another meeting, so spending an afternoon by a pool with a cocktail in hand is exactly what the doctor ordered. Or what my mom and dad would order, who think they’re emotional doctors to their kids and their kids’ friends and…” She chuckled, and added, “I’m thankful that my parents are helping. They want the kids to stay there tonight. Told me to have fun.” Melissa’s volume seemed to be getting lower and lower. “But I have to be careful in this town,” she said in a hoarse whisper before clearing her throat. “I met with a lawyer today…that was my other meeting.” She sat up, her ocean-blue eyes even lighter and more crystalline than the piercing blue of her dad, or Jake, Rakell thought, studying them as Melissa looked at her intently.
Rakell’s spine straightened in response to the crackle of resignation she heard in Melissa’s voice when she said lawyer. Should she probe? Was that what Melissa wanted? She shared the same DNA as Jake, and Jake certainly would not have thrown information out there, expecting it to land without the listener's intervention. Even with friends, Rakell felt ill-equipped for this kind of emotional expedition, which would surely involve the sharing and discussing of feelings. She referenced her past conversations with Lana, who, although blunt, knew when to delicately leave a settled layer of dust, not demanding it be wiped away to reveal the surface beneath. Jake did not possess such sensibilities, and contrary to Jake, delving into her own or others' entrenched suffering was not in her skillset.
As Rakell folded her hands, attempting to formulate a response, Melissa picked up the menu. “Let’s get some munchies,” she said, the pain in her voice replaced by a faux cheeriness, as if she’d resolved that today would be a good day, no matter what battles she was facing internally. Rakell suspected that was how Melissa kept her life so in line, even when it was obvious that parts of her were hurting inside. Rakell couldn’t bring herself to ask the next question. She didn’t want people asking her about all the pasts she had buried and how she was trying to rebuild—but then hadn’t it made her breathe a little easier after she had shared the fire story with Jake? Hadn’t it been freeing, talking openly about her dad’s football junk food or her horse Snowbird, to readily share stories about the good parts of her life, realizing they were still there, the threads of her life, even though it seemed like the fire had obliterated the entire fabric of her history? In her head, her early life had been reduced to nothing but ashes until Jake had asked about her dad’s dip, as if her memories of him were an open topic of conversation and somehow relevant to her life now.
She wondered then if the past you had with someone, the moments that made you fall in love, were still relevant when the future with them crumbled. She knew that Tom and Melissa’s relationship was strained. Still, she’d also seen their wedding picture on Jake’s parents' wall, the Skyler family vacations that included Tom, the photos Jake had of Cassie and Cameron when they were born, with Melissa and Tom, a couple, new parents welcoming their first baby, then their second into the world. If Melissa and Tom’s marriage dissolved, would those memories matter? Would they continue as a part of how Melissa discussed her past, or would they be, in a sense, erased because of the damage that had ensued after those good memories had taken place? It made Rakell scrape within the depths of her brain for her core memories of her mom. Yes, some were still a part of the screenplay of her life. How does a person reconcile the past joys with the sorrows?
“Hey Rakell, Earth to Rakell,” Melissa said, grinning. “We haven’t even had our first cocktail yet.” She smirked. “Are you daydreaming? If so, I hope it’s a good one.”
“Oh, yeah, sorry, just thinking about…”
“My brother?” Melissa smirked again, smoothing over the yellow dress, then winding her arms through a sheer black coverup.
Rakell matched her smile. “Well, no, I wasn’t thinking about Jake. I think everybody assumes that’s all I think about.”
Melissa swung her legs up on the padded chaise. “No, I was kidding, but he’s probably hard not to think about…”
