AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Jake caught her intense gaze. “Okay?” he said with uncertainty, his eyes drifting to the phone in her hand.
“I just wondered if me posting about us, if that…”
“I was wondering when that was going to come up.” She could hear the curt tone underlying his words.
His knuckles tightened on the steering wheel. “Because of our careers, you and I will be in the public domain. That’s just how it is. If you hadn’t posted it, someone else would have. I’m obviously not a Bernardo fan, but I don’t think the man is that short-sighted. He didn’t get to be one of the greatest actors and producers by being petty. Besides, he didn’t have any problem snagging my last girlfriend, so what would have prevented him from trying it again?”
“You’re safe,” she scoffed through a residual sniffle. “He likes the underdeveloped, nubile type.”
“Bullshit,” Jake shot back, pulling into the driveway, jerking the SUV into park, and turning off the key. He reached across the front seat and grabbed her hand; a shocked gasp left her throat, her eyes expanding as she stared at his red face. “I’m safe, or I better be, because of who you are…not because of what the other guys out there do. The only way I’m safe is because my sense about you is right; you wouldn’t do that to me.”
Her head dropped, her eyes landing on her lap. An uneasiness crept in; there was a hint of threat in his tone, but the hopeful sincerity scratched at her. He had the womanizing record, yet he didn’t feel like that one-on-one. If anything, he seemed fully present, like he saw a future with them. The trepidation she kept tripping on was in trying to figure out how he could be so sure about them.
“Jake, I’m just…”
He squeezed her hand roughly, then let it drop away. As she turned to get out of the car, he said, “Wait, I want to address the question about what I was hoping for…”
“It’s fine,” she whimpered, holding back the water behind her eyes; she had to stop crying, stop analyzing, stop thinking about every stretch mark on her hips, the heaviness of her boobs, every non-perfect part of her body that the camera had highlighted. How had she come off as matronly at barely twenty-five?
“No, listen, you’re right. There’s a part of me that didn’t want to think about you in that film with Bernardo, a part of me that’s afraid. I know this industry, and I know that there will be many people coming into your life who won’t care about us or our relationship. Who will have complete disregard for the guy you’re with. Yeah, I’m not going to lie, that fucking bugs me. But I can’t fight who I fell for…hard, and I have to believe the reason I fell for you isn’t your fucking gorgeous body.”
She cleared her throat. “Huh.”
“Don’t say it, I don’t give a rat’s ass what their idiotic assessment was. They had to say something. What they said was ridiculous. My point is, I fell for all that you are, so yes, the body, yes, the eyes, that smart-ass smile, that brain that makes connections about people and the world others don’t see—all of it. Fuck, that sense of humor that’s definitely helped you get through some shit. And I admire you, you’re a hell of a lot stronger than I am, and….” A long sigh eased from his mouth. Resting his head back against the seat, his gaze slid to her. “I wanted you to get it, and I was simultaneously scared that you would. I knew I’d think about him, and I would have to try to keep my mouth shut, which isn’t my specialty.”
She laughed, then said, “You think?”
He matched her laugh, his expression looking relieved that she had.
He continued. “Melissa said that she learned these phrases from one of Cameron’s therapists: think bubble, talk bubble, and she thinks I should have had intervention as a kid.”
Listening to him eased some of her angst. “Well, at least people don’t have to waste time figuring you out, Jake Skyer. I understand that you may not have wanted me…”
He cut in as if he had just figured out exactly how to explain his position. “It’s sort of how I felt when Jenae applied to NYU for law school. She wanted it so badly. It was a dream for her to go there. She talked about living in New York all the time, so I wanted it for her, but I really didn’t want her to go. I knew if she got in and left Texas, we’d never get her back, so I secretly didn’t want it to happen, but I also didn’t want her not to get it. God, does that even make sense?”
“Yeah, I think I get that,” she said with a far-off ring to her voice. She only remembered feeling something akin to that when Matt had met Jonathon. She’d known that they were happy together, but concurrently, she had gone through a mourning of sorts. Because once Matt came out to his parents, he and Jonathon were officially a couple. There were no more pretenses needed between her and Matt, so Matt and Jonathon were free to be in love. Even though they had been pretending, being Matt’s plus-one had felt like having a blanket of protection wrapped around her. She didn’t say any of that to Jake. When her thoughts were incongruent and unsure, she didn’t express them out loud, while Jake seemed to work out his internal monologue in public. She’d been honest with him about how important Matt was to her, but she’d thought about what to tell him for months, deciding just to lay it all out there because no matter what, Matt would always be in her life. The impulse to pick up the phone and call him now ticked through her, but if she started talking about it to another person, she knew she’d be swimming in tears again.
Jake opened his door, and she jumped out to help him unload, bringing everything into the house in silence. There was part of her that wished she could just leave, be alone, allow this smack in the face to reel through her, cry it out, not have to be with someone as she made sense of all the things Ana had said. She brought her bag to his room while he unpacked the groceries. She didn’t have the energy to make small talk, to act like she was fine, that their critique of her hadn’t settled under her skin. Nor did she want to hear Jake try to negate all their words. She walked past him in the kitchen, dropping to the couch just as her phone buzzed in her purse. She grabbed it, turned away from Jake, and then walked to the back wall of glass, looking out to a small backyard.
Ana: No, I don’t think your Jake post affected anything. Being with him may help you get product endorsements in the future. Everything you do now matters, and yes, people will be interested in your love life…Send
Ana: Jake’s a popular quarterback and has a significant following. He’s quickly turning into America’s sweetheart—by extension, the public will love you. This will give us a leg up on brand ambassador opportunities. I love the wine-tasting picture he posted of you two…Send
That irked her. She couldn’t figure out why, but that statement from Ana rubbed her the wrong way. As if she were suggesting that Rakell being with Jake was somehow part of some grand plan. She was doing this on her own, not because of Jake, or any other man.
Rakell: I’m not choosing relationships for endorsements…Send
Ana: Of course not, but let’s take advantage of the attention…Send
Rakell: Dating Jake doesn’t make me a better actress…delete
Rakell: This is why men have so much power. Who I date matters more than what I can do…delete
Rakell: I’ll call tomorrow about the cologne commercial. I’ll research them tonight…Send
Ana: Great. I think this one is a lock. I know the last audition was a shock, but I’ve been in this industry a long time, and the reasons actors don’t get roles are so varied. Bernardo was really impressed by you. They are recommending you for another film. I’ll get the details to you soon…Send
Rakell: Should I get a breast reduction?…delete
