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“I know, I’m sitting here wondering why you didn’t tell her… You usually…”
“Yeah, and usually I, well usually I’m not thinking I’m with that girl…the girl I want to build a life with, so I can’t be a dick. I can’t say, ‘Hey, if you do this, we’re done.’ This is her dream, so I…”
“You’re growing up, Jakeee,” Dwayne taunted, using my sister's nickname. “Proud of you, but you have to say something.”
“I know, I’m waiting to respond. Let’s go get that burger and maybe like ten beers. The whole gang is coming.”
“Yep. Hey, maybe…” Dwayne said, like he was trying to process everything I had just told him. “Hey, why don’t I tell Rakell…she wouldn’t think…”
“No, no way. I need to say something. I just wanted to let her get through the audition, find out the results, and then tell her with a calm head. Delilah said I should tell her as an FYI but at the same time let her know I trust her.”
“Mmm, do you?”
Snapping my head toward Dwayne, I said, “I do…I really do, but we know that it’s a precarious industry. I mean, how many actress-athlete relationships do you see go the long haul, especially when they both keep pursuing their goals? Still, I know there’s something strong between us, and she’s different from other women I’ve dated. She’s been through a lot.”
“Got it,” Dwayne said, a definitive air to his clipped response. That was all he needed to say. That meant that even if I disagree with you…if this is what you want, I have your back, and I won’t bring it up again. But we both knew that the opportunity for fame and money alters one’s perception of what is acceptable. Trust is a calculated emotion, subject to the variability of what a person is running away from or walking toward…trust is not concrete. I liked concrete, unfortunately humanity was more like the weather, ever-changing depending on the conditions. And weather could take a powerful concrete structure down to a pile of rubble in an instance. Dwayne got it, he knew that even if I said I trusted her, it was because it had to be that way for me to continue. I had to see this relationship as black and white; there was no gray here…I hate gray.
Chapter Twelve
As she pushed open the door to her small apartment, Rakell’s nervous system was zinging. Bernardo’s word, impressive, was lighting up in her brain like it had been written in the sky with sparklers. She kept whispering it to herself, making sure she absorbed it. She tossed the duffle bag to the floor, anxious to call the person she wished she could tell everything, the one she knew would be excited that her dreams were becoming a reality. She ached to call her dad, but she shrugged that off… couldn’t let her brain go there. Then the thought hit, the comeuppance she’d feel when she landed a major role and could prove her mom’s declaration wrong. “When this doesn’t work, you’ll be back, Rae.”
“No, Mom, I won’t…I’ll never go back, never,” she hushed to herself. As the thought of her mom’s words shattered her excitement, she was saved by her phone lighting up, a Facetime call. “Matt!” she yelped, wishing she could jump through the phone and hug him.
Jonathon and Matt mirrored her enthusiasm about the audition. Jonathon declared that he was treating himself to ‘the good’ Champagne tonight. “I love you guys. Jonathon, thank you for always making me feel high on life! Oh, and Matt, I really appreciate your sage advice,” she snickered.
Jonathon roared, then whispered as if Matt wasn’t temple to temple with him, “Rakell, I hear your code. He’s like a wise old man. Matt is the perfect example that 30 is the new 60.”
Rakell laughed at Matt's stern face just as Jonathon said, “Opening Champagne in your honor tonight, Rakell.” He shifted his eyes toward Matt. “Old man, you're welcome to join me.”
She giggled, hoping she’d be joining them soon. This felt so close, so real. “All right, you two, I love you, but I don’t know anything for sure yet. I’ll call you when I hear…hopefully, you can open the really good stuff.” Just as she set her phone down, it lit up again.
Lana: Hey, can I call you?…Send
Rakell: Sure…Send
“Hi, I’m so ginned up after the audition,” Rakell spit out before Lana could get a word in.
“I bet you are. Um, you’re on speaker. Levi’s here…we wanted to…first, I’m excited for you,” Lana said, her forced enthusiasm halting the bounce in Rakell’s step as she paced back and forth. “Have you told Jake?” she added dryly.
What the hell? The façade in Lana’s light voice, coupled with the way Levi cleared his throat at Lana’s question, pricked at the back of her neck. “Uh, yes, he knows. I was at his house when I got the original call, and I texted him after the interview. But why…I mean, are you two making sure I’m being a good girlfriend to Jake?” she asked sarcastically. What’s going on?
Lana groaned. “No, Rakell, we know you guys are figuring stuff out but…huh...”
“Hi, Rakell,” Levi interjected, “I guess Jake didn’t share this with you, but I think I should.”
“What, did something happen, is Jake…” Rakell croaked, her chest tightening. “What’s…”
“No, nothing like that. It’s just that…” His pause was careful, making Rakell more anxious.
“Levi, spit it out. What’s up?”
Levi interrupted her urgent words with a long sigh. “Jake knows Bernardo. They haven’t met, but in general. Let me share an old Instagram post with you. It will clarify our concern, what we are not doing a good job saying right now.”
The text picture came through. Rakell glimpsed it, taking in a young woman with black shoulder-length hair and big, brown eyes, nestled on Bernardo’s shoulder, smiling like a Cheshire cat at the camera. The angle made Rakell think it was a selfie, while Bernardo’s eyes were cast toward her. She had to be in her twenties…but he was known for dating younger actresses, that wasn’t an anomaly in Hollywood. “So, I see Bernardo with a younger woman. I’m pretty sure there are oodles of pictures like this, but what does Jake have to do…”
With a sigh, Levi interrupted: “Look at the name of the account, the woman. It’s…”
“Jessica Ortiz. Oh yeah, she’s the actress slated to play in the new superhero series alongside…yeah, I know the name. Wait, Jessica Ortiz.” That name conjured a feeling of familiarity but not enough to bring any realization. “Wait, she…did Jake date her?” She searched for the date on the post. Was this the girl?
