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“We’ll be there. Together.”
I open my mouth to answer or scream in excitement when a horn suddenly honks. Looking in our mirrors, we both spot an old lady glaring at us before she lays on the horn again.
“Moment’s over,” Hudson says with a shrug before holding his arm out the window. “Have a lovely day!” he calls out to her before speeding away, both of us laughing.
Today was sad in many ways, but it also felt healing. How can anyone ever get over the past if they never face it? I’m thankful I got to be by his side, and I’m grateful he allowed me to do that.
“Only for you would I live here in the winter,” I whine as a shiver runs through my body. “I’m counting the days till we’re spending these months in warm weather.” I pause. “Hell, I’d take, like … sixty-five degrees at this point.”
“Oh, hush. Sip your hot chocolate and shut your mouth,” she teases me, bumping her elbow into my side. “I even had them put extra marshmallows in it for you, just the way you like it.”
Rolling my eyes, I can’t help but smile down at my girl as we walk the streets of Boston and head toward TD Garden. Tonight, Walker’s team, the Bay Sharks, is here to play the Bruins. It should be a good game, especially since Walker will be going up against the dude everyone compares his skill level to. Cam Hardy. The Bruins center.
Since living in Boston, we’ve come to a few games for something to do, even when Walker’s team wasn’t playing here. And though I haven’t told Briar this—because, well, I’m sure she already fangirls enough over Cam Hardy—even I was impressed. I can see why Walker would get compared to him, though they are two completely different beasts on the ice.
Walker will dig deep and do whatever he has to do to win a game. Hardy is a true natural and almost makes everything he does look easy.
She tucks herself under my arm and peeks up. “Just think, only a few more years, and we can spend part of the winter in the warm air instead. But I’ll never give up Christmas here. So, if you take off before December 26, you might be on your own.”
“Deal.” I throw my arm around her. “As long as I get a solid two to three months in a warmer climate between January and April 1, I’ll be a happy man.”
“You know, when we have babies and they start school, we aren’t going to be able to just take off for two to three months at a time, right?” As soon as the words leave her lips, she looks embarrassed. “Sorry. I didn’t … not that we’re going to—”
I stop walking, bringing my finger to her lips. “Shh,” I utter. “Don’t start overthinking, sweetheart.”
She steps back, now cupping her hot chocolate with both hands. “I just don’t ever want to pressure you about things like kids or marriage even.” Her slender shoulder shrugs, and she smiles sadly. “I’m honored that you let me be in your life. I don’t want to push it by asking for more.”
I’m thirty years old now, so naturally, the thought of kids and when to have them has crept into my brain a lot lately. Sometimes, along with those thoughts comes guilt—because I lost my baby girl and I shouldn’t be thinking about another child. But I know Briar would be an amazing mom. Ever since she and I finally gave this thing between us a shot, I have been thinking about starting a family with her. I know I want to make her my wife. It’s not something I came to lightly, given I had a wife and I don’t ever want her memory to be forgotten. But the very fact that Briar makes a point to value Cami and Neveah often has only made me realize even more that I want to spend my life with her. But I’m trying not to rush things because I know she has a lot on her plate with college.
Throwing my cup into the trash can beside her, I cup her cheeks. “Dove, I’ve never felt pressure from you on anything. And while I appreciate your patience, I need you to know that the only reason why I haven’t mentioned things like marriage and babies isn’t because I don’t see those things with you. It’s because I’m trying to give you your moment. You know, a time for just you. Where you focus on school and you live your best life in the city.”
“Really?” She sounds surprised as her lips tremble. “I just assumed that you didn’t see marriage and kids in the future because of your past.” She reaches up, touching my cheek. “And I respect that, Hudson. It was something I was all right with. Because I know that you had a whole life before me and I’d never ever want to erase them.”
“And do you know how much that means to me?” I stare down at her, not understanding how I got so lucky. “That you love me enough that if I couldn’t give you those things … you’d still stand by me?” I dip my head closer to hers. “It’s why I love you so much, Briar, because of your selflessness. But you deserve all the things life can offer. And I promise you, I’m going to give you all of them one day.”
“My genetic pool is … well, let’s see. I had two parents who were addicts. My grandparents were criminals, and my uncle is an egotistical, greedy maniac.” She chews her lip. “I didn’t know if you’d want my crappy genes. I mean, God knows what my babies would be like.”
I bring my mouth to hers, kissing her as the snow falls lightly. “I love you, Briar James. And I want everything with you. Crappy genes and all. We could go practice, you know,” I murmur against her lips. “Skip this game. And let me bend you over the kitchen table.”
Her lips smack against mine, and she shivers. “Don’t tempt me.”
“Oh, get a room, will you?” Poppy’s voice suddenly barks out from behind us, making us pull apart. When we both turn toward her, her face lights up. “I’m kidding. Y’all are so damn cute. Beauty and her beast.”
“I’m Beauty, right?” I smirk at her in her Carhartt beanie. “You’re living your best New Englander life right now.”
“Yeah … right.” She rolls her eyes and pats my arm. “You are a beast. A handsome, less hairy one, of course. And, yes, I am.” She pats the top of her head. “On days I don’t want to wash my hair, bam, I just throw one of these bad boys on.” She cringes. “I have literally, like … ten of them now.” She looks at Briar. “Your brother says I have a problem.”
“You’re married to my brother. That’s your first problem,” Briar teases her before linking her arm with Poppy’s. “Come on. Let’s go cheer on that little shithead. He’s going up against the infamous Cam Hardy.”
I follow them as we trudge down the sidewalk, tucking my hands into my pockets. We’ve been in Boston for over a year now, and even though I love to tease Briar about the cold, I think she might have fallen in love with it. I guess living in the South for her whole life, the sight of snow falling in the city could be charming.
To me, it’s not. But seeing her face while she watches the snow fall? Now, that’s something I could watch all day.
I work from the office here in Boston, mainly doing behind-the-scenes type of shit that won’t get me shot. But sometimes, I do like to investigate firsthand. From a safe distance, of course.
Some days, I miss the thrill of being undercover. To be honest, living in the real world and just being myself was a pretty big adjustment after working off and on undercover for so many years. But Briar is thriving in the city. And I think my mom’s pretty damn happy that once every few weeks, we go to her house for dinner, or she travels to the city to have lunch with us.
I’ve learned that, sometimes, life is full of pain and joy at the same time, and that’s okay.
