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Each day that passes, I lose faith more and more in the words Hudson left me with.
When there’s a knock at my door, it cracks open before I even have a chance to hide my book. Quickly, I fumble to tuck it away, slightly relieved when it’s Rossi who walks in. I wouldn’t say I trust the man, but he’s the most pleasant person here. He doesn’t look at me like an insect. Or talk to me like I’m a prisoner at Alcatraz.
“Whatcha got there?” He nods toward the pillow where I just stuffed my sketch pad before he sets a plate of food on my nightstand with a can of soda next to it.
“Nothing,” I say, instantly panicking.
If he looks at some of the crap I’ve come up with and drawn the past few days, he’d have to tell Enzo.
Sitting at the edge of my bed, he gives me a small smile. “You don’t have to show me, but if you want to, you can,” he whispers. “I won’t tell.”
Pulling my knees to my chest, I ignore him. One thing I like about Rossi being the one to babysit my door and bring my food and drinks is he gives me good stuff. There’s one guy who looks sort of like a Cyclops mixed with Bigfoot, sprinkled with a moose. He’s the worst. And he’s terrifying. And not because he’s ugly either. All humans are beautiful, except this guy.
“He asks about you every day, just so you know,” he whispers, and when my eyes fly to his, the corner of his lips turns up. “I told him I’d keep an eye on you.”
For a moment, I’m stunned. And then I remember where I am. I’m in Enzo fucking Romano’s house, and Hudson’s words hit me. The ones when he told me to pretend like he’s nothing to me and to trust no one. Before Hudson had to leave, one of the guards here had told Enzo that Hudson liked me too much, for fuck’s sake. How do I know that Rossi isn’t setting me up?
So, instead, I glare at him. “He can ask as much as he wants. I don’t care. Hudson Hercules is nobody to me.”
“All righty then, scrapper.” He laughs lightly. “And when you’re in this house, that’s a good answer. But I meant what I said. And I won’t tell him the words you just spoke about him; don’t worry.” Patting my hand, he slowly gets up. “For what it’s worth, Briar, I am really sorry that you got tangled up in this mess.”
And then he walks out the door, closing it behind him. I don’t check if it’s locked—I already know it is. So, instead, I look at my food, knowing if I eat it, it’s only to survive. Because these days, the last thing I’m thinking about is eating.
But as I lie down, I let the words that he said sink in. Maybe they were a trap. They were probably total bullshit. But there’s a possibility that … Hudson asked about me.
And if that’s true, maybe he does actually care.
Ten Days Later
I stare up at the ceiling. Turns out, when time is all you have, all the shit you’ve spent your entire life running from, well, it catches up to you really quickly. And there’s nowhere for you to run to. Or hide. It’s just you … and all of your shitty memories.
“This is quite an achievement, Briar!” Principal Jordan beamed at me before pulling her glasses off. “This will also look incredible on your college applications next year!”
I looked down at the paper, unable to fight the smile that spread across my face. Running my fingers over the letters, I glanced at her. “Are—are you sure? What if there was a mix-up?”
She gave me a reassuring look. The kind that instantly made me feel better. Then, she reached across her desk and patted my hand. “Briar, I’m one hundred percent certain there wasn’t a mix-up. You are at the top of your entire class. You are a sophomore who’s taking some of the toughest classes our school has to offer—oh, and getting perfect grades in all of them.” She nodded slowly. “This is an award you’ve earned, girl.”
Every year, five high school students in Georgia were chosen to travel to the capital and be recognized with an excellence-in-academics award. I’d gotten good grades since I had been a child, but I never thought I’d be chosen to win that award. Yet there I was. Learning that I had.
One of the best parts about it was that each winner was gifted five thousand dollars in scholarship money for when they went to college. I knew right away that would help me pay for art school.
“So, next month, you’ll travel to the capital. You’ll meet the governor, along with the founders of this award.” Her eyes widened with excitement. “I’m so proud of you, Briar.”
When I looked down at the paper again, my stomach suddenly sank because I realized something. “Wait … do I just go alone? Or …”
Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say I don’t need a guardian to go.
“Well, I’ll be traveling with you,” she said, and I felt relieved. That was, until she added the next part. “But you’re welcome to bring your parents along too. I’m sure they will be so proud of you.” She paused. “Oh, and Walker. He’s more than welcome to come too.”
The thought of my parents at the capital made me uneasy. They had relapsed … again. And at this point, they were deeper into their addiction than ever. My mom was skin and bones, and my father looked nothing like he once had. Both of their skin had these open sores on it, and their eyes were sunken into their heads, making them have these big, dark circles under them.
I felt ashamed to admit it, and I’d never say it out loud, but the thought of accepting that award when they were in that state of mind and in that rough of shape … it made me ashamed. Who else would be there, accepting an award, while their parents were probably going to sneak into the restroom and shoot up heroin and return, looking like zombies?
I didn’t want to risk it.
“But, like … if I wanted to go alone—well, with you—would that be okay? Or, me, you, and Walker maybe?” I felt the shame rise to my cheeks. “If my parents were busy or something.”
There was no missing the understanding all over her face, and she gave me the smallest, saddest smile. “If that’s what you want—I mean, if they are busy—then that’s fine, Briar. This is your day to celebrate all your hard work.”
