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Her smile grew. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. “Thank you. I could never be afraid with you around, cowboy.”
Cowboy. It was similar to him calling her ‘sweetheart.’ He wanted to hear the term of endearment from her over and over again.
He wished he could keep hugging her, but he had to get her into his bedroom and have some closed doors between them. Right now. How could he ask her to lock the door? Maybe push a nightstand in front of it? That would probably scare her. She’d think he meant to keep her mother’s men out when truthfully he wanted to keep himself out.
“I’m glad.” He released her and stepped back. “Let’s get some rest.” Striding over to the television, he turned it off. The room plunged into darkness. He felt his way to the wall and hit the light switch for the stairs.
Jacey walked toward him with something like rejection in her eyes. He didn’t want her to feel rejected. Ever.
She walked past him with her head held high and preceded him up the stairs. He took the stairs with heavy legs and walked her to the master. He’d done a check of the house when they returned earlier, but he felt an urge to do another one. Plus he needed to grab a few things from his closet.
“Stay right here for a moment,” he said.
She nodded.
He hurried into his master, did a sweep and determined that he was overly cautious, but there was no reason not to be. Diligence saved lives. He knew that. He grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste, some clean clothes, his deodorant, a blanket from the closet, and an extra pillow off his bed.
Striding back out of the room, he nodded to Jacey. “Thank you.” He paused, wanting to take care of her, even if he needed some space to keep his feelings for her somewhat in control. “Will you be all right?”
“Yes.” She nodded. “I am well.”
“I’m glad.” He tilted up his chin and turned to go.
“Why are you taking a pillow and blanket? Is the spare bed not made up?”
He froze and told a half-truth. “This is my favorite pillow. Sorry I stole it.”
She arched her brows. “You’re giving up your bed for me. I think I can forgive you this one indiscretion.”
“Mighty generous of you.”
“That is the kind of cowgirl I am.” She tried to put a little drawl in her voice. It didn’t quite fit with the educated East Coast tone.
She laughed, and he joined her.
Yet it reaffirmed what he knew down deep.
She rode a horse like a queen and was humbly willing to help with chores. Because of these and many other qualities, he’d deluded himself into believing she was his perfect fit. The truth was Jacqueline Oliver couldn’t fit in the mountains of the West. She couldn’t fit with him.
His heart had been shattered by Sheryl playing him and dumping him at one of his lowest moments in life. He had to be stronger around Jacey tomorrow or it would hurt both of their hearts in the long run. There was no clear vision of how to do that, but he’d pray for strength.
“Goodnight,” he said.
He forced himself to turn and walk to the empty spare bedroom on the left. The other room on the right was his home office, with a bathroom in between the two.
Pushing the door open, he waited for her to go in and close the bedroom door. He’d turn off the hallway light and they’d get some rest.
The door didn’t close.
He was being stretched thin right now.
Turning, he was glad his hands were full so he couldn’t reach out to her. She stood across the hallway, looking far too alluring.
“What would you do if I told you I need you close or I will never fall asleep?”
Fire filled his chest, and he had no idea how to respond. He clutched the blanket, pillow, and toiletries tightly. Thankfully it wasn’t a feather pillow, or he’d have goose down all over the place.
“Jacey …” How to explain? Earlier today, she’d feistily told him she wouldn’t sleep with him. He’d been semi-offended then, but now he knew it had been a defense mechanism. Was she testing him now, or did she truly need him close?
