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There was no reason to worry—fear—being pulled into an empty classroom. But that’s exactly what reaction swamped me.
I gave myself a quick second to relax, even if that left me watching Ian’s face pull into a familiar sneer. It almost looked like he was having gas pains or something. Before I could ask him why he was manhandling me—yet again—he pulled me closer to him. His breath smelled of old cigarettes and whiskey. I wasn’t a big drinker, so alcohol all smelled the same to my nose. Gross all around.
“Get off me, Ian.”
I went slack in his grip. His fingers were pinching my biceps, and I knew from previous incidents, if I tensed up, I’d have bruises. Though, I’d probably have them anyway. Which meant no more tank tops for a week or so. Again. Last time I was able to cover them with light sweaters as it was mid-March and there was still snow on the ground. It’s currently summer here. Even in upstate New York, we can have some warm days. Long sleeves in this weather… Shit.
“You can’t keep denying me.” His grip tightened, his voice a low menacing growl. “Why? Why must you deny me the one thing I need most? You know you want me; you have since we kissed in my office. I’ve seen you watching me.”
Wait, say what now. Me watching him? Maybe he was truly drunk. Or just insane. At this point, I was calling that spade a spade.
“Ian, I’m not watching you.” I tried to pull free of his hold. His grip tightened, and he leaned into me more. The smell of cigarettes was cloying. Panic was roiling in my gut, threatening to explode at any second.
Three months of this was starting to seriously weigh on me. I wasn’t sure how to fix the situation without making it more awful. I didn’t want to do something that would get me hurt or worse. He was constantly up my butt. Following me around the school. Coming in to ‘check on me’ during classes. As one of the advisors, he could come in and watch classes without anyone being the wiser. Hell, I’d even seen his car out on my street after dark.
How he thought any of this was okay was beyond me.
I needed to go to the dean…maybe he could do something? No. That would be just as bad as involving another staff member. I had to handle this on my own.
“I can be no clearer than I have been. I do not now, nor have I at any given time, felt a need to prove myself to you, Ian. I do not wish to mingle, talk, or deal with you outside of what we must do at work. That’s it. Nothing more.”
“Lies. I see you. You walk by me to tease me. You want me, find me attractive, but are scared to admit it. Is it Dan who doesn’t like me? You can’t make a decision without your brother’s input? I can’t take—I won’t have you denying me like this.”
My heart was thumping out a war song right about then. This man—he was seriously delusional if he thought for one second that I wanted him in any way.
How did I say that…I really didn’t want to have to fight my way out of this room. Someone might notice an altercation, and then other faculty would get involved. I’d rather handle it myself. No one needed to know I’d let this happen. No, I was not blaming myself, I just…I didn’t know anything anymore.
There would still be classes for a few more weeks. Then we’d be on summer vacation—and I’d be free of this asshole for two and a half months—if I came back at all. This lack of boundaries and manhandling had gotten worse every time we’d come back from a break of any kind.
I really wish he could find a new hobby. I was exhausted playing this game of cat and mouse.
“Look, you’re a decently handsome man, but you’re not my type. I’m not interested in anything more than being a work colleague with you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere to be that’s not here.”
He didn’t want to let go, so having had enough, I made him. My knee came up to hit his groin, and he tipped over like a lead weight. I didn’t knee him as hard as I could have, just enough to make my words sink in.
His grunting and cursing had me grabbing the bag I’d dropped so I could get the hell out of there.
My stride was hurried, but not quite a full-out run by the time I got down the hall. Every day for the last few weeks had been the same. Everywhere I went, he was there. Or it sure as hell seemed to be that way. He’d be standing outside the lecture hall, the classroom, waiting at the end of the hall; watching like a dog after a bone.
Maybe I was just freaking out and overthinking everything. That’s my usual jam. Let’s face it; I have PTSD from a past relationship. Major trust issues which started after—well, that doesn’t matter how that got started, but it’s there.
If I thought it would do me any good, I’d report his actions to the advisors. Maybe there was a chance I wasn’t overthinking or overreacting. They’d be able to step in and make it all stop before someone—he—got hurt.
I stopped at the end of the next hall, took a deep breath, and let it back out. Taking that moment to collect myself was needed. Once I felt my heart rate slow, I headed up to the room I’d been using today. I gathered my things, making sure there was no sign of me left, then headed back across the building to my normal room. I had a lot to do, and now my nerves were frazzled.
When I got home, I was going to get a beer and eat my weight in cheesecake.
I had two early classes in the morning. This meant I needed to get things set up and ready now. I didn’t want to wait until my 7:00am class was seated to do it. That never ended well. And to be honest, until I was on my third cup of coffee, I didn’t always fire on all cylinders. Not getting here at 5:00am to do it would be nice as well. I liked my sleep.
The door to my room opened with the turn of my key, and I stepped inside. The air was cool, and a shiver rolled over me. Much better than that hot as hell classroom I’d been in earlier this afternoon.
“What will you wear to the fair?”
Yawning, I scratched my scalp with my nails and let the tension in my neck take a break. The voices filtering in from the hallway drew my attention from the papers before me. There was a big fair one town over from us this coming weekend. Everyone had been talking about it, making plans—and I was freaking out. Fairs meant clowns. Loud, obnoxious people, screaming kids—but that also meant corndogs, elephant ears, and my favorite, sausage dogs with peppers and onions.
Ugh. My stomach was ready; my nerves though, not so much.
I was not a fan of crowds or loud places. Or clowns. The mere thought made me want to hide under my bed. Every time I saw a clown I had a flashback to the movie Poltergeist. When it was storming and the creepy clown pulled Robbie off the bed and under it.
