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He rode out of the ranch then got much faster once they were on the highway. The wind blowing in his face felt good. He’d heard of hot under the collar to describe being pissed off, but that was the first time he was sure he’d felt it.
Random thoughts blew away while he was on his bike. It settled him in a softer place, a place better able to sort through what was happening in his life. Having Sel holding him from behind didn’t upset that thought process. In fact, it settled him more.
With anxiety taking him from that office, he needed to get away from all those faces and expectations. He wasn’t one to get pushed into anything, and he wouldn’t allow it.
The thing was, Sel was someone that couldn’t leave his thoughts, no matter how long or how fast the drive could be. The first thing he thought in the mornings, the last thing at nights, popping in at random moments throughout the day, no. Sel wasn’t someone he could run from. Sel was with him, body or not.
Sel rested his cheek on Indio’s back, and that sent another wave of warmth through him. As stubborn and confident as Sel was, Indio thought he saw something else there. He’d freak out if anyone thought him vulnerable. For his entire life, he’d had to be strong and sure, a leader for the other kids.
But the night of the shooting, Indio had seen him. He was scared and he hated that. For people to see him afraid wasn’t an option. He had to be strong to take over the family business when it was time. For years, likely, he’d have to establish his own dominance over people, but the thing was, he couldn’t do that with Indio.
When his head was empty of the voices of all those other men, and his thoughts could finally settle, he knew what to say and what to do.
Taking off toward a rolling set of hills, he looked until he found what he was looking for. Pulling off at the entrance of a picnic spot, he rode up a smooth dirt road until he came to a spot surrounded by trees and away from all the other humans who would be able to witness what he had planned.
Once he cut the engine and dismounted, as he took off his helmet, he said, “Get off the bike.”
“Are you leaving me here?”
Indio barked a laugh. “No, you dumbass. I’m not leaving you here.”
Still cautious, Sel dismounted and slowly took off the helmet as he kept staring warily at Indio.
Once it was off, Indio gently took his hand and led him into those trees, watching for the perfect spot to have their talk and whatever else they might get up to.
There was a spot that was clear in the middle of at least eight trees. The forest floor was soft as he stepped over it, and there was birdsong in the tops of those trees. Stopping suddenly, Sel almost ran into him.
He turned to face Sel, letting go of his hand. “I’ve already had enough of all this bullshit.”
First his face fell, then his head. “Oh. Okay.”
Taking two fingers under Sel’s chin, he raised his head. “Can I finish, or are you out to control that too?”
“I don’t want to control you!”
“I just got lectured by all of the…Doms or whatever the fuck they call themselves of all your little friends. Let me set you straight right now, no one, I don’t give a fuck who he or she is, no one controls me! So, stop with the fucking manipulation.”
“I didn’t mean to?”
Indio slapped a hand over his mouth. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.”
Sel closed his mouth and nodded a little, looking rightfully pitiful.
“I’m not your husband, I’m not your partner, I’m not your fucking boyfriend and as far as your dominant or whatever it is, I’m not that either. I’m a guy, you’re a guy and we…we like each other. I do not like fucking labels that put me in a little box that someone carries in their pocket. Yeah, I want to be with you, but stop trying to get me to do or say more. You’ll hear how I feel or you’ll feel how I feel about you. I don’t do labels and I don’t do a lot of words.”
Sel pulled his hand away, and Indio thought his temper would break, but then he got a huge surprise. Sel’s eyes filled with tears and once they fell from his eyes, Sel said, “I don’t need words. It’s like I told you after we fucked that first time. I see in your eyes how you feel about me, Indio. I just…I thought if you had the label of dominant, you wouldn’t be so…to try to…”
“Push you away? How have I pushed you away, Sel? I’ve been in bed with you twice now without fucking you. If I just wanted a fuck, I’d have slept somewhere else.”
Sel turned his back to Indio, and he thought that was it. He’d gone too far, but he wasn’t going into anything with Sel by lying or making him believe things that weren’t true.
“Sel…”
“I’m not angry or hurt. I’m relieved.”
Surprised, Indio spun him back around. “Relieved?”
“All my friends were well-meaning, I swear. But I knew this about you already. And, to be fair, I don’t need a label for what we are, and I don’t need a fucking contract to trap you into doing what we’ve already been doing.”
