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The voices whispered hideous things in my mind.
“No, no, no!” I pushed back from the table, upending my chair. Katherine startled at my outburst and stared at me wide-eyed.
I froze in place, the room and my mind returning to silence. I had no words to explain what had just happened. “Never mind,” I growled before wiping my breakfast from my lap and stalking out of the room.
Consciousness seeped into my drowsy mind the following morning. The bustle of the crew as they busied themselves with the day was altogether too loud. I refused to open my eyes and face whatever consequences I’d suffer after drowning my sorrows with an entire bottle of rum the night before. I was surely going to regret sleeping topside with nothing more than a coiled piece of rope as a pillow.
“Good day, Mr. Starkey.” Katherine’s sweet voice carried on the breeze, and I rolled myself over with a groan. I wasn’t ready to face her yet. “Do you know where I might find Mr. James?” I couldn’t hear Starkey’s response, but I prayed he kept my night's lodging a secret and directed her to wait for me in our cabin.
The shock of cold water ripped me from my drunken stupor. I spluttered and flailed unceremoniously on the deck. The early morning light seemed excessively bright. Before I could wipe the water from my eyes, firm fingers gripped my ear and pulled.
“Ahhh, what the f?—”
“I am done waiting for you to grow up and talk to me like a man!” Katherine scolded as she pulled me to my feet by my ear like a child.
“What in the name of the Divine are you doing, woman?”
“You have been acting like a child, and I’m done ignoring it. Why didn’t you come to bed last night?”
My vision finally cleared, leaving a brooding Katherine in my line of sight, her breasts heaving with irritation. My eyes reverted to the empty bottle of rum I’d left rolling on the deck. I hadn’t been able to face her after my outburst at breakfast. I still didn’t know how I was going to explain myself. Drowning my problems in a bottle of rum seemed like a much better idea than facing them head-on. But the look on her face and the pounding in my temples said otherwise.
“I—I must have passed out topside. I may have indulged a little too much.”
“You chose rum over me?”
“Can we take this conversation to our room?” Katherine’s outburst had drawn curious onlookers. The last thing I needed was for the crew to have a front-row seat to my tumultuous love life.
I wrapped my hand around her arm and started urging her forward. She tore herself from my grip and stormed toward our cabin. Her heeled boots echoed off the planks as she walked.
She paced the room but remained silent until I closed the door.
“Tell me why?” she asked.
“Why what?”
“Why are you shutting me out?”
“I’m not,” I lied. “You knew when we arrived in Neverland that I had an agenda.”
“Well, maybe you should change your mind. He’s only a boy, after all. We can forget all about him and live a good life. Just the two of us.”
“You know I can’t do that,” I growled. Dropping my vendetta against Pan was where I drew the line.
“Why not? I need to know—why can’t you let this go?”
“You know all you need to know. Once it’s done, then, and only then, can we move on.”
“Then let me in. We’re in this together. You could help me finish the poison. I’ve almost perfected it. We’re supposed to be a team. Don’t you trust me?”
“Yes, but… I’m not myself right now, Kat. I’ve sworn to protect you, even if that means protecting you from myself.”
“Do you love me, James?”
“How can you ask me that? You know I love you.”
“You cannot protect me from love. Where you falter, I am your strength, if you would only let me help you.”
“I’m not sure I can be helped, Katherine.”
