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“Sofiya, what’s happening?” Mama’s voice startled me as she flipped on the light.
I froze, my heart racing. There she was in her long white robe, hair a mess, and exhaustion written all over her face. Her anger was almost stifling, making me wish the monsters would just take me away.
She raised an eyebrow. “Who are you talking to?”
“I-I had a nightmare, Mama. The monsters are… under my bed.” My voice trembled, still shaken from the nightmare.
Her expression softened, her concern replacing the anger. She came over and sat on the edge of my bed, reaching out to comfort me.
“There are no monsters, Sofiya,” she said gently. “It’s just your imagination playing tricks on you.”
I nodded, trying to believe her, but the fear still lingered like a shadow in my mind.
“But Mama, I heard them! They were whispering about getting me.”
Mom’s brows furrowed with worry. “Sofiya, sometimes our minds can fool us when we’re scared. But I promise, there are no monsters here.”
I might be only eight, but I could tell she wasn’t entirely truthful. Monsters have always been a part of my world. They were the ones who took Papa from us.
“But you said we left the monsters behind in Russia. What if they followed us here?”
She looked momentarily confused, realizing I’d overheard her talking with Dasha just before we landed at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport.
After three nights in a city hotel, Mama rented a car, and we drove to Denver, where we’ve been staying in a cozy white house with a tiny garden. That’s where Dasha has been teaching me to do perfect cartwheels.
Mama took a deep breath and seemed to gather her thoughts. “I didn’t think you heard that,” she said softly, though her voice was tired. “I was just trying to make Dasha feel better. Sometimes we say things to comfort each other, even if they’re not completely true.”
“But what if they did follow us?” I insisted, my voice quivering.
She knelt beside my bed, looking me in the eye. “Sofiya, I understand you’re scared. But this is a new place, a fresh start for us. We left those fears behind in Russia. The monsters can’t reach us here.”
I wanted to believe her, but the shadows in my room seemed to whisper otherwise. “Promise?”
She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me close, and handed me my teddy bear that had fallen on the floor. I hugged it tightly.
“I promise,” she whispered. “We’re safe now. Just try to get some sleep, okay? I love you.”
“I love you too, Mama.”
As she tucked me in and turned off the light, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the monsters were still out there. But with her promise hanging in the air, I tried to drift off to sleep, hoping and praying she was right.
Chapter
Twenty-One
“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.”
? J.R.R. Tolkien
Sofiya
No. It couldn’t be.
Was I dreaming? Was it really her?
Too terrified to turn around, fearing an empty space and shattered hopes, I remained frozen, my legs trembling, arms wrapped around my waist, and my hair hiding my tear-streaked cheeks.
That had been his plan all along—to make me suffer, sow doubt, and crush my hopes.
