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My eyes widened.
She was in love with her?
“Victoria was everything to me,” she started, her voice heavy with sorrow. “She was my sister, my friend, my lover, and my enemy all in one. She wasn’t a good person. She could be warm one minute and ice cold the next. You never knew where you stood with her. It was like walking on eggshells. But despite it all, I just wanted to make her happy.”
Her words hit me hard.
I sighed trying to calm my racing heart.
“When we vowed to get pregnant by the same man, I jumped in because I thought it’d bring us closer,” she sighed deeply, her shoulders slumping. “I loved her too much.”
“When she died, it broke me in ways I still can’t fix,” she admitted, her hand caressing my cheek. “But when I look at you, something shifts. The pain gets a bit easier to bear, and I feel like everything I went through was worth it.”
When we’re young, we only see our parents as caregivers, not as people with their own dreams, hopes, and struggles from before we were even around.
Realizing this completely changed how I saw Helena—she wasn’t just my mom, but someone who had a whole life before me.
It turned everything upside down.
“I’m sorry I kept everything a secret. I’m sorry I made you think your papa was dead, faking his funeral. But I did it to protect you from him,” she said. “Vlad was your papa, and you loved him so much. But I saw something dark growing in him, something dangerous. I…” Her voice broke, and she paused, tears spilling from her eyes. “I wanted to protect you from the same pain I went through.”
My mama’s confession shook me to the core, shattering my perception of our lives.
It was difficult to grasp that she endured such pain all alone.
How many women like Dasha and Helena have carried such unbearable burdens?
The thought of countless women and girls silently enduring such agony is heartbreaking, their stories untold and suffering unseen.
I yearned to bring comfort and peace to my mama, to ease her pain and regrets.
Yet, alongside these feelings, I couldn’t shake the sense of betrayal and confusion within me.
I couldn’t believe that she faked my papa’s death, shattering my young girl’s heart.
“I wish things were different. But they’re not,” I sighed. “You’re still my mama, no matter what. I think we just need some distance for me to rebuild my trust in you.”
She nodded, tears shimmering in her eyes. “I understand. I have to return to my life here in Russia, too. Try to make amends.”
I nodded, my throat tightening. “I don’t know where to go from here. Everything feels so uncertain.”
Helena smiled and grabbed my hand. “Victoria and Vlad may be your biological parents, but you’re nothing like them. You’re stronger than you realize, Sofiya. You’ve faced unimaginable challenges and come out the other side. Now, it’s time to find your own path, to reclaim your life.”
“But how?”
Her grip tightened around my hand, her voice filled with conviction. “You start by embracing the choices before you. You have the opportunity to shape your destiny. Trust your heart, Sofiya, and listen to the voice within. It will guide you.”
A storm brewed inside me.
It hit me—I had a choice.
I could stay stuck in my past, or I could rise up and start anew.
I nodded, my heart heavy. “Please take care of yourself, okay?”
Her voice trembled as she choked out, “You’ll come visit me?”
I paused, a lump forming in my throat, making it hard to find my voice.
