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“It’s going to be. You should come first. Always. No matter who you’re with.” The last words are more a growl, because fuck any man who happens to be able to be with her like this.
“Fine.” She chuckles. “Next time.”
“Next time,” I agree, knowing damn good and well she’s my breakfast.
CHAPTER
FIFTEEN
Courtney
I’m dabbing tears from my eyes as I watch my sister turn this way, then that in her wedding dress. She’s getting married in five short weeks, and her dress is finally finished. She’s been very laid-back about all things wedding planning, but her dress, that’s the one exception. She had it designed, and I have to admit, it’s perfect for her and fits like a glove.
“Oh, honey, you’re beautiful,” Mom tells her, wiping at her eyes as well. She and I are both smiling and crying, while my sister... she’s radiant, her smile lighting up the entire room. There are no tears on her face. She’s confident this is the next step for her future, and I’m so damn happy for her.
“Chloe, you’re glowing. Rodney isn’t going to be able to take his eyes off you. Hell, he isn’t going to be able to breathe when he sees you,” I tell her. It’s the truth. Rodney loves my sister fiercely, and although I’ve never been in love, I can imagine seeing your bride or groom on your wedding day is a pretty emotional event. That’s the first day of the rest of your forever as husband and wife. It’s a big deal.
“Yeah?” Chloe’s eyes light up.
I nod. “Definitely.”
“You’re next,” she says, happiness shining from every piece of her.
“One day.” The weight of my fake relationship that’s not so fake—at least the way he makes me feel isn’t fake—sits heavily on my shoulders. I hate that I’m lying to them, but I could never regret this time with Merrick. Never. My time with him will forever be a part of my story.
“How are things going with Merrick?” my mom asks. “The two of you have been seeing each other for a while now. Are things getting serious?” she questions. She’s been quiet about Merrick and me since the night we all had dinner together. She thinks her oldest daughter is in a loving, happy relationship, and she’s only partially right. He’s loving, and I’m happy, and I know Merrick is, too, but we both also know there is an expiration date on all of this.
For me, yes. For him, I have no clue. “We’re taking things slow.” It’s not a lie. We’re taking the intimacy slow. It’s killing me, but it’s how things need to be. I’m the one who slowed us down. It took everything I had inside me to tell him he couldn’t return the favor last weekend. The following morning, he got a call early from Brooks. He was working, and Palmer needed some help with something. As the only single brother, Brooks called Merrick first, knowing he wasn’t pulling him away from his wife and kids. Not that it would matter. Any of them would have jumped at the chance to help Palmer. Their family is tight like that. Regardless, I thought we could pick things up that morning, but life kept that from happening, which is fine. I wouldn’t want him to not be there for his family. It just means we have our next experience to look forward to.
I have to shift in my seat to ward off the desire that rolls through me just thinking about it. About him doing that to me.
“They’re really into each other,” Chloe tells my mom. “You should have seen them when we all had dinner together. There’s something there,” she declares.
“We’re dating. Of course there’s something there.” I give my sister a look that tells her to hush, but she’s too lost in her love bubble to understand. Then again, why would she? She thinks the thing between Merrick and me is real.
“You know what I mean.” Chloe laughs. “He’s sweet and attentive. How have you not fallen head over heels in love with him already?”
I think maybe I have.
I freeze as those thoughts float through my mind. Is that what this is? I’ve never been in love. I’ve had crushes, but nothing I’ve ever felt before has been like this. It’s intense and consumes my thoughts. Merrick has quickly become my favorite person, and I don’t know how I feel about that.
My sister is getting married in five weeks. He was supposed to just be my date for the wedding. We were going to hang out a few times, go to the wedding, and then I would tell my family it just didn’t work out.
Now, I don’t know what’s going on. We’re more than what we started out as. We’re friends, and we’re not exactly lovers, but close. Hell, I don’t know what we are. I do know I think about him all day, every day, and I crave being with him. That’s not all I crave. It’s his touch and his kisses. They are my new addiction.
“He’s a good guy,” I finally say.
“Well, your father and I approve,” Mom tells me.
“The way he looks at her, how could you not?” Chloe asks.
“Stop. We’re dating, taking our time getting to know one another. We’re not jumping into anything serious.” You know, because it’s all for show. Well, it's supposed to be. If I’m being honest, I’m not sure what’s for show and what’s real anymore. I know he’s into this—whatever we’ve started—but he’s not mentioned what happens after the wedding, and I refuse to ask. I’ll face the consequences when we get to that point.
“You keep telling yourself that, big sister.”
I don’t bother to hide my eye roll, which makes Chloe laugh. That’s how the seamstress finds us.
“How are we doing?” the store seamstress asks.
