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The second step didn’t come. He stopped and was just closer to me now.
“There is a problem with that. You wanted me, but I need you.” His thick, raspy voice cracked on the last word. “Liberty, you claimed my soul long before I realized your hold on it. When I did, it scared the fuck out of me. I believed things about you that were lies. And even then”—he slid a finger under my chin and tilted my head back so that I had to look at him—“I fell in love with you.”
My heart could not listen to this.
Shaking my head, I took his hand from me and stepped back. “No, you don’t get to come in here and say that. I know about Selena, Liam. She met me in the parking lot of the hospital after the ultrasound. She told me how you felt trapped by me. Called me names. Accused me of getting pregnant on purpose and that you resented me for it.”
Tears blurred my vision, and I wished like hell I could control my crying better. I didn’t want to ever cry in front of this man again.
Liam took two long strides, and before I could move again, his hands cupped my face. The fierce expression as he looked down at me kept me still instead of fighting to get free of his touch.
“She is a goddamn liar. I never once told her about you being pregnant. I never wanted her. Even when I was with her, I didn’t feel anything, Liberty. I’d already been ruined by this gorgeous little bartender who had rocked my world. No woman was ever going to reach me after that. I didn’t know it. Hell, I might have gone the rest of my life alone because I’d walked out of that motel room. I had no idea that a broken condom was going to be what gave me life. Gave me you.”
He wiped at my tears with his thumbs as he continued to cup my face with his hands.
I would be lying if I said his words weren’t threading through me, mending things I’d believed would be broken forever. I loved him. I was sure I’d love him until I took my last breath, but trusting him with my heart? I wasn’t ready. There was too much wreckage on the path we’d been on. I had to make a new path. One that was safe for me and our baby.
“I need time,” I finally said. Those three words had felt like I had to rip them out of my chest.
“Darlin’.” The pleading way he said that one word almost undid me. “Don’t do this to me. Don’t let my mistakes take away the life we could have. I need you, Liberty. I’m a fucking shell without you. I can’t eat. I don’t sleep. Please.”
The glassy sheen in his hazel eyes was going to crack me open. Hurting him, seeing him like this, was brutal. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to be the cause of it. But loving him also meant I had to love me.
“I need time,” I repeated.
I wasn’t sure I trusted myself to say more. I was holding it together by a thread. The thinnest thread ever made. A heavy sigh could snap it in two.
Liam closed his eyes, and his shoulders sagged. The thread was unraveling. If he didn’t walk out that door soon, I knew all my resistance would be gone.
“Okay.” His husky whisper sounded so full of regret.
If I reached out and touched him, reassured him, then all of this would have been for nothing.
He lowered his head and kissed my forehead, then dropped his hands from my face. “I will do whatever you want. Not just now, but for the rest of my life. You just tell me when and where. I’ll always be there.”
I sucked in a breath, holding in my sob, and nodded.
His eyes drifted over me once more, pausing on my stomach. His throat flexed as he swallowed, and then he turned toward the door and walked away. When he didn’t open it, I had to close my eyes so I wouldn’t look at him. I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t run to him, begging him to stay.
Finally, it opened, and I stayed still until I heard the lock click in place. I wrapped my arms around our baby, tucked safely inside me, and sank to the floor and let the tears go freely.
“I had to do it for me,” I whispered as I looked down at my stomach.
45
Liberty
I made sure all my things were once again packed away in my suitcases before leaving the apartment and heading to the office. Even though Wallace had hired me to control me, I couldn’t just walk away. I would turn in my resignation today, and if he made it difficult, then I would have to leave. I hoped he didn’t because I could use the two weeks to find a new job and an apartment. Getting a lease would be easier if I was employed too.
Sleep hadn’t come easy for me last night with all that Liam had said replaying over and over in my head.
While in the shower this morning, I had finally come up with how to handle this job and Wallace. He rarely played by anyone’s rules but his, but I was going to hope for once that he did.
When I walked off the elevator, my coworkers all looked at me. Some smiled, others looked annoyed, and a few scowled. They were young and female. I wanted to stop and tell them that Wallace Gabler wasn’t someone they wanted to add to their mistakes in life, but I didn’t. They could hate me if they wanted to, but I’d be gone soon, and one of them could have my office.
As soon as the door closed behind me, I sighed in relief. At least I didn’t have to work out there with them all making assumptions about me. But then if I was out there and not in this fancy, private office, then they might like me more.
Rubbing my temples, I stared at the desk. I had a list of things I needed to do today for the Miami and Orlando stores, but my focus was gone.
