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He glanced at me then and gave me a nod. “How long have you been here?”
Why had he nodded at me as if I were an acquaintance? This morning, he’d pinned me against the kitchen counter and kissed me until I lost my breath. I didn’t expect him to do that in front of his daughter, but this was odd.
“Not even ten minutes,” she replied.
He tilted his head toward the house. “Come on inside and get a drink. Tell me how Cree’s liking the preschool life. I haven’t talked to him since school started.”
Madeline looked over at me as if she was going to say something.
“Flowers look good, Liberty. Nice job. Has Ozzy been out for his evening run already? Or have you not gotten to that yet?” The businesslike tone he was using as he kept his distance from me was saying more than any words could.
I cleared my throat as my face flushed. “Uh, he was out here until I started the digging. But it’s been an hour. I’ll, uh …” I couldn’t find my words.
With Madeline’s presence and the fact that Liam was treating me like I worked for him in front of her, the clarity was hitting too hard.
“I can let him out. Continue with what you were doing,” he said, then looked back at Madeline. “Come on.”
A small frown furrowed her brow as she gave me a glance, as if she wasn’t sure what to think. I managed a smile, although I didn’t know how I did it.
She reached out and squeezed my hand, as if to reassure me. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you. We will make plans for lunch one day. That way, we can talk.”
I wasn’t going to be able to get words out past the boulder lodged in my esophagus. I just nodded, then turned and went back to the tree, acting as if I had something more to do here.
When I heard the door to the house close, I picked up my tote and walked back to the storage shed. My mind was reeling. The part of me that had been wishing for a fairy tale tried so hard to hold on while the blatant truth that had just unfolded in front of me stood there, mocking its existence.
Ozzy appeared at my side, and I dropped the gardening tools and bent down to wrap my arms around him. I buried my face into his neck, and he stayed still, as if he understood this was what I needed. No whining or wiggling around, trying to play.
As demoralizing as this was, I knew that my knowing was for the best. I could stop playing house and focus on the future Liam never spoke about.
The slamming of a door caused both Ozzy and me to jump. I stood up and looked toward the front of the house. There was no talking, but the sound of a car door closing, then the engine starting up meant Madeline was already leaving. She’d barely been inside.
I didn’t think I could face Liam right now. There was a lot I had to process. Decide how I would move forward and the best course. I was doing myself a disservice, pretending this was something it wasn’t. I wanted it so badly that I’d made up things in my head because that was all it could have been. Whatever signs I’d thought I’d seen, I had been so very wrong. Or just desperate.
Another door slammed, and I watched as Liam walked around the side of the house. I stayed still. If he had something to say, then I’d listen, but there were no words that could take back what had just happened.
His expression appeared as if he was in pain. That wasn’t going to work. Whatever it was. He didn’t get to be in pain. He hadn’t just been humiliated.
When he got too close, I took a step back.
“That’s good,” I said, holding up a hand.
His jaw clenched, and he stared at me. His hazel eyes were full of regret, and I’d give it to him—he looked like he was hurting. Too bad I didn’t care. My wounds were too deep and raw.
“That was …” he started, then stopped.
I waited. I wasn’t going to make this easy on him. He ran a hand over his head, as if he had something to be frustrated about.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said.
I raised my eyebrows. That was it? He was sorry?
“We aren’t five, Liam. Sorry isn’t a magical word.”
He let out a deep sigh and stared off into the backyard. “I can’t let Madeline be affected by this, Liberty. I don’t know how else to explain it. But she’s my daughter, who I only got to meet six years ago. What we have is new, and I’m trying to be the father she didn’t have. Make up for all the time I lost. And dragging her into this,” he said, waving his hand between the two of us, “it’s not fair. She wants me to find someone to grow old with and all that shit. She worries about me being alone, and if she thinks we are … if there is …” He stopped and let out a groan, looking like what he was saying was tearing him up inside.
There was a part of me that wanted to reach out and reassure him because my stupid ass loved him that much. It was why I played his game. Lived in the now, pretending like this was all okay while we left out things. Me meeting his family, for example, talking about our pasts, planning our future. He might want me to an extent, but he didn’t want me bad enough. If he was going to love me, he would’ve by now.
“Tell me you understand.” There was pleading in his voice.
