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He didn’t say anything, and I figured he was trying to find out just how much I knew about his life. I wasn’t going to offer the information. Not while he was treating me like trash that had been dumped in his lap.
“When we have the results, we will take it from there,” he replied after a few moments.
“I don’t have time to sit on my ass for three days. I need a job and somewhere to live. Because regardless of the results, I do not want to live with you, and you don’t want me to either. That much we can agree on.”
His knuckles turned white; he was gripping the steering wheel so tightly. I jerked my gaze off him to look out the window.
“If the baby is mine, I will provide for you. I take—”
“Responsibility. Yeah, I heard that already. But here’s the thing: when you find out this baby is yours—because I can assure you without a doubt that it is—you aren’t going to control my life.”
“You walked out of Selena’s and burned that bridge. You have nowhere to live and can’t afford a place, or you wouldn’t have asked your sister for help. Getting a lease approved after just starting a new job will be damn near impossible. If it’s my kid, then I will make sure you’re not living in a box on the side of the road. That you eat properly and aren’t walking home from work at midnight, passing out on the street. Do I want it to be mine? Fuck no! But if I messed up and it is, then I’ll do my best by it. That includes taking care of its mother.”
Angry tears burned my eyes. I didn’t look at him. I kept my eyes on the passing cars and tried to get control of my emotions.
I had known he didn’t want this baby to be his but hearing him actually say it was hard.
I’d had a dad who loved me. He wanted me. Even after he was gone and I lived a life of hell with Abilene, I’d always had my parents’ love with me. I knew the ones that mattered most had loved me.
Would I have chosen to get pregnant? No. But that was neither here nor there. I was pregnant now, and I realized I wanted this baby. It would be the only real family I had. Sissy might be my blood, but we weren’t family. We never had been. She wouldn’t allow it. My baby would be born with a mother who wanted it and loved it. But hearing its father say he didn’t want it cut deep. I didn’t want my child to know that kind of rejection or lack of a father’s love.
We rode in silence until he pulled into a parking lot at a medical building. I had managed to not cry, and I was thankful for that. I reached for the door handle to get out of the car and get some distance from him.
“I have some office work I need done, like filing and paperwork that needs to be scanned and entered into our system. If you want a job, then until we get the results in three days, you can do that for me. I’ll pay you two fifty a day.”
I didn’t want to work for him or be near him. But it was unlikely I’d find a job today where I could make seven hundred fifty dollars in three days. That would be enough to get an apartment, but Liam was right; without a job, a lease would be hard to get.
“Fine,” I muttered, opening the door and getting out.
In three days, he’d find out he was going to be a dad again. To a kid he didn’t want. Until I knew what he was going to do about it, I could stay at the club and work. Sleep would be difficult, but I’d manage. I’d slept in worse places.
Once we were in the waiting room, Liam walked up to the window and spoke to the lady while I stood back and waited. He was only up there briefly when he turned and motioned for me to follow him as he headed to the door that was being opened by a nurse. That was fast service. There were at least six other people in the waiting room.
The nurse smiled at me. He was a tall ginger with blue eyes. “Miss Dillard,” he said, and I nodded. “I’m Holden, and I’m going to be taking your blood. Do you need to use the restroom before we get started?”
I shook my head. “I’m good.”
“Very well then, come with me.”
He led us into a room with two tall chairs and some equipment. “You can both take a seat,” he said. “I’m going to swab Mr. Walsh’s cheek first, and then we will move on to drawing your blood.”
I’d known this involved my blood sample, but I hated needles. I’d hated them all my life. I felt the familiar panic that came when I knew I was getting a shot or having my blood taken. Not wanting to appear childish, I clasped my hands tightly in my lap and took deep breaths. It was just some blood work. I was an adult. This was fine. I wouldn’t look at the needle. Just a little poke—that was all.
“Are you okay?” Holden asked, and I realized he was speaking to me.
My eyes darted up from the spot on the floor I’d been focused on, and I gave him a forced smile, then nodded.
Lie. I was not okay.
His brows drew together. “Are you sure? You’ve gone pale. Do you need some juice or something?”
I shook my head, holding on to a smile I did not feel.
He didn’t seem to believe me, and he studied me for a moment, concern etched on his face. He swabbed Liam’s mouth, then placed it in a vile before turning back to me.
“You’re still pale. I’m going to get you some juice. Not sure what we have, but we should have something. I don’t want to take your blood if your blood sugar is low.”
“My blood sugar is fine,” I told him.
