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I gave a strangled, sobbing gasp. I’d told him I loved him, and some small part of me had still been terrified that he wasn’t going to say it back.
“You love me,” I whispered. “You love me... And have the mate bond... Does it feel very different from before?”
“Not so very different,” he said huskily. “I already loved you then. Before the Lavrika came, I thought that you were mine. Now I know you are.”
I nodded, airway constricting, and Dalk groaned.
“You are doing your human tears again! Is the idea of being mated to me really so hideous? I thought that this would solve our problems! I thought-”
“You don’t do tears. You cry them or shed them. And they’re happy tears!” I corrected him, sniffing and laughing, wiping at my cheeks. “Definitely happy tears. You have no idea how miserable I was without you, Dalk. Wondering what was going on. Wondering if you were alright. Ugh. Look at me talking about myself and my feelings when you lost your uncle!” I swiped at my tears more angrily this time. “How was it, Dalk? How are you?”
“It is as Gahnala Chapman said after his funeral pyre. Losing someone is always difficult,” he said, allowing weariness to creep into his voice for the first time.
“Here. Sit down with me,” I said. I was worried he’d try to claim he didn’t want to, that he wasn’t tired, and hoped that if I was sitting down too then he’d just come along with me. Luckily this proved to be true, and we both got down to sit facing each other.
Except that didn’t last long. As soon as Dalk realized where I had seated myself – on the stone floor of the cave instead of in his lap – he rectified it at once. He rested his chin on the top of my head, his chest to my back, his voice rumbling comfortingly into me as he spoke.
“I was glad to see Taraken in time. We had a.. good talk.”
I wondered what the hell would constitute a “good talk” for this man.
“And it was good to see my Gahn again,” Dalk added.
“Good old Fallo,” I said with a somewhat reticent smile. “Hey, I meant to ask you. Why is it that you’re so devoted to him? Is it just because he’s your Gahn? It seems like it takes so much to earn your respect.”
“It is not just because he is Gahn,” Dalk said, sounding surprised. “Do you not know the story of how he got his title?”
“I know he killed his own father. That’s about it.”
“His father was Gahn before him. Like Gahn Fallo he was always an... explosive sort of man. And when his Gahnala died, the last restraints on his reason fell away.” His voice grew harder. “He lost his senses. He believed that he could call her back by some sort of blood sacrifice. He wanted to kill every last man, woman, and cub. He would have done it, or at least gotten a very good start, if Fallo had not confronted him.”
“Oh. Wow. So it was to protect everyone?”
“Yes.”
“How come there wasn’t a baklok?”
Dalk snorted softly.
“There is no one who would have dared challenge Gahn Fallo or call for a baklok after he seized the title of Gahn. He killed his own father and Gahn for the good of the tribe. I’d actually never liked Fallo as a boy. Never liked him until that day. That sort of sacrifice... It is worth more respect than a thousand small pleasantries.”
“Thanks for explaining it,” I murmured, running my fingers up and down his forearms, tracing the thick veins and musculature. “I want to know so much about you. And that was something I’ve been wondering for a while now.”
“It is not so unusual for a man to revere his Gahn.”
“But it’s unusual for you.”
He was silent for a moment, then suddenly said, “He wanted me to stay, you know. He asked me to remain in the Sea Sands. Just as you once told me to.”
“Oh, God, thank you for not listening to me,” I moaned, imagining what would have happened if he’d gone away then. I supposed the Lavrika could have summoned him a little earlier... But then we wouldn’t have had the same experiences together, the same time to start to build up our budding feelings on our own.
“It is the first time I have ever refused him something. You seem to have turned me into a very odd version of myself.”
“Hopefully a version that you like?” I said cautiously, spinning around until I was facing him on his lap, my legs spread across him.
His gaze was a knife. His words just as sharp.
“The only man I’d ever want to be is the man who can be with you.”
