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And now I was going to have to betray her in every way. Nothing I could say or do would ever make this right in her eyes. She would hate me for the rest of her life, and I was going to have to accept that before I put my final plans into motion. I had to hope that one day she would understand and she would learn to forgive me, even if I could never forgive myself for what I was about to put her through.
“I can feel a change in you.”
“You can’t feel anything. I’m not even with you.”
“When you left me last time…there was something in the way you kissed me. It felt like a goodbye.”
“You got all that from one kiss?” I asked, rubbing the center of my chest where a deep ache had formed.
“Rafe…” I swore I heard a sniffle from her, but that couldn’t be right. Libby wasn’t a crier. She was the strongest woman I knew.
“Libby, this is something I have to do. I need you to trust me that I’m doing this for the right reasons.”
“And what about me?”
That was the hardest part. “I will always love you. I need you to know that I would never willingly leave you unless I had to.”
“And that time is now,” she said solemnly.
“Whatever happens…I need you to know that you made this whole thing so much easier for me to handle. Because of your strength and your love…”
I had to pause and wipe the moisture from my eyes. I wasn’t one for sappy emotions, but this woman had a way of dragging things as silly as love from my soul and making me a believer that all things were possible.
“Libby, when this is over, promise me that you’ll have the kind of life I could never give you.”
“You want me to walk away as if none of this happened?” she asked. I could hear the tears in her voice, choking her up. “Rafe…don’t ask me to do that. Don’t ask me to pretend that none of this was real.”
“I’m not asking you to. Just don’t—” I stopped and took a deep breath, feeling that ache grow into a knot that felt like it would tear through my chest and burn me alive. “We had something amazing, but don’t let this tear you apart. You’re the most crazy and loving woman I’ve ever known and I need to know that you won’t let this kill your spirit.”
She was quiet on the other end, probably cursing me until the day I died because I was putting her in a position that left her with no options. Even if she showed up at the docks, there was no way I was turning back now. I’d fought for years to get this close, and there was no way I was backing down now. Not even for the woman I loved.
“I wish you had told me. I wish…I wish I had known.”
“You would have tried to stop me.”
“I would have hit you over the head and dragged you to the cellar. Then you wouldn’t have a choice in the matter,” she teased.
I cleared my throat, feeling like it was closing in on me. “I left something for you with Cash. He doesn’t know it yet, but when he does, he’ll make sure you get it.”
“That’s it? That’s all I get?”
“That’s all I can give you. It’s why I tried to stay away from you all those years. I knew how this would end, and I didn’t want you dragged into it. But you tore down my walls and refused to let me walk away from you.”
“That’s because I’m just as stubborn as you.”
“I swear, when this is over, you’ll understand why I had to do this and hopefully, you won’t hate me for it.”
“I’ll always hate you for taking away my options in this.”
“Then maybe you’ll still respect me, at least.”
“Rafe, there’s never been a single day that your name and respect went together,” she laughed.
I heard Nicholas call my name and knew I had to stop dragging this out. We had a mission to plan, and once it was in motion, there would be no turning back. It was time to say my final goodbyes and pray that she would still find some way to love me when this was over, and not curse me to hell.
I swallowed my pride and said a quick prayer for her. “I love you, Libby. I will until my dying day.”
I heard a choked sob on the other end of the line and hung up before she could say anything else. As I stared at my phone, I noticed a slight shake in my hand, something that had never happened before. I shoved my phone in my pocket, refusing to let emotions get the best of me. As I turned to the guys waiting at the cars, I shoved all thoughts of Libby aside and got to work.
