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Eventually, when both were out of breath, Artair thumped his big, handsome head onto Luca’s chest. “Sorry about not staying in the tower.”
“Oh, no. It’s totally fine,” said Luca. “It was a dumb thing to bring up.”
“No, it wasn’t,” said Artair, with a slight turn in his voice. “It’s just... ?”
“What?”
“Can I . . . Can I tell you something?”
“Yeah, of course,” said Luca, patting Artair’s hair. He was shocked to find that Artair was shaking. “What? Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
“Promise you won’t... take it the wrong way or anything?”
“I promise that I’ll do my best to be calm and level-headed and not make snap judgments. What? It could happen.”
Artair half sighed, half laughed. “I... I did really like spending time with you in the tower. And I like the fact that we have the rest of the summer together. But... I’ve been here before. I’ve met people I cared about and got really fucking close to them and... and...”
Artair breathed deeply, struggling with the words.
Luca brushed a thumb affectionately across Artair’s cheek, wiping away the sudden tear. The man leaned gratefully into his touch. Into his safety.
And Luca didn’t need Artair to finish the sentence.
Because he felt the exact same thing.
Growing closer to this incredible man, only to lose him?
Falling for each other, despite knowing that they’d soon part ways?
That would be too much.
That would break his fucking heart.
Artair looked away. “Sorry. It’s so fucking stupid. I know I should just stay with people. I know I should just fucking settle down.”
Luca brought the man’s gaze back around to face him.
He smiled up affectionately.
Because he’d heard that tone before.
The way that Artair said settle down was exactly how Luca said the word mainstream.
Luca could only imagine how many times Artair had been told that he was weird for wanting an adventurous life. That he was strange for finding guys he liked and leaving them anyway. That he needed to just fucking settle down. That he needed to deny his instincts. That he needed to deny his passion.
And Luca wouldn’t do that to him.
He could never, ever do that to him.
Luca’s own eyes clouded with a tear he tried to resist. “Yeah. I know exactly how you feel.”
“Really?” said Artair with a brittle laugh, made all the more brittle by the disbelief in his voice. The surprise that Luca might actually like him back. “That doesn’t make it better, you know?”
“Maybe,” said Luca, with as much warmth as he could muster. “But at least we’ve got the summer?”
Artair nodded, leaning down and kissing him gratefully.
“To the summer then, Luca?” he said, rubbing their noses together.
