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The secrecy of the archon and the coded whispers that Aurelius had given her in parting suddenly made hideous, breath-shortening sense.
When the sun finally broke through the dark, she gathered the pages, retying the thick leather of the outer folio.
And Teigra stared at it. Her heart was beating so hard she felt like she was swaying.
Burn it after you’ve read it, Tiggy. Pummel the ashes and scatter them to the wind.
She breathed as slowly as she could manage, knowing what she had been asked to do—what she had to do—but finding her crossed legs refusing to move.
Her household wouldn’t rise until well into the morning. Even Tulla wouldn’t start cleaning and preparing breakfast for another few hours.
There was still time to sneak into the kitchen and stoke the hearth. To gather the ashes and sprinkle them along her walk down to her departure point.
Of course that was what she had to do! Aurelius had taken a huge risk and shown enormous trust in giving her this folio. She was certain that Mother or Senators Scipio and Viturin would give anything to get their hands on this folio! All the secrets gathered by the archon and her herald for over twenty years?
It was the greatest of prizes. It might even be enough for them to grant House Cosmin’s wish of elevation to patrician status right here and now. To finish the job started years earlier.
Perhaps, it might even be enough to keep her from having to go on this wretched journey—one that she was in no way qualified or prepared for.
But... she couldn’t do that.
She wouldn’t!
Not to Aurelius.
Not after he had trusted her so.
Not with the mission that he had been set, and the awful outcomes if he failed!
And yet, her legs remained crossed and unmoving still, just as her fingers clenched tighter and tighter against the folio.
But... burn her words? Just like her body was burned by Xiber’s soldiers?
This folio was it. All that was left of her. All that remained of her years of struggle and service.
No, she thought with a wretched, stuttering exhale. I can’t do that either. I just can’t!
But what then was the option? Hide it somewhere? Bury it or stash it away in some forgotten cellar? Hope that in the five years she would be gone no one would stumble across it?
She shuddered. The thought of five years in a new city already stripped her throat raw. She couldn’t imagine how much longer it would feel if she had to spend every day worrying the folio might be found.
And what if they extend me? What if five years turns into ten? Or fifteen? There are plenty of envoys who have done the job longer than that!
It was almost too horrible to imagine.
Teigra looked around her room desperately. Finally, she came to settle on her bag—an old but good leather sack, tied with yellow ribbon.
Her grip lessened on the folio and her heart slowed. She scrambled across the bed.
Forgive me, Aurie, she thought as she retied the bag tightly, the folio now tucked safely between well-worn stolas and spare sandals.
17
AURELIUS
The cobblestones were cunts—shifting underfoot in a lame attempt to trip him.
Nice try stone chunks, but you aren’t gonna stop me! No one is gonna stop me! I’m on a mission. A mission you are too fucking stupid to understand. Cause you are just stone. And I’m Aurelius fucking Savair!
