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And though she often talked of Mesti, she had been away from Mestibes itself for too long to know it anymore. After all this time, the city was more idea and ideal to her than a reality.
Whereas Aurelius had seen the dark hearts of the men and women of the senate up close. And despite their self-proclaimed superiority, they were just people. Just normal people in positions of power, hungry for more and scared of losing what they had. They might want it for themselves, or for their family, or to make sure that the “wrong people” didn’t get it, but their whole lives revolved around the acquisition and maintenance of that power.
And as much as they might crap on about their superior civilization and culture, when it came down to it, they were just as petty and transactional and scared of dying as any Ondocian trader.
Of course the senate had accepted the military alliance.
How could they not?
It was Ms. Securia who retreated to her bedroom after that. He gave her that space, just as she had him, before he eventually found himself knocking at her bedroom a few days later.
When no answer came, he creaked the door open.
Her room was dark, the curtains drawn. But there was the faint outline of her in the humble bed, facing away.
“May I guess what they said?” he said from the doorway.
Her voice was hoarse. “To gloat at my foolishness?”
“To reinvigorate my cynicism.”
She rolled over, assessing him, before rolling back. “As you wish.”
He sat on the end of her bed, running his fingers gently over the coarse wool of her blanket. “I assume they said that while they would never seek such a deal, and while they thought the circumstances that led to the offer were gravely insulting to the goddess, if such a deal was now being offered, it would be deeply offensive to turn it down. And so, with the greatest of reluctance and supreme reverence to Mesti, they have instructed you to accept the offer and negotiate terms for a military alliance with the royal family.”
Ms. Securia’s silence confirmed both the content of the letter and her own expectation. She really had thought they would say no—that the senate would choose their principles and their piety over their power and their privilege.
It was heartbreaking.
“Will you follow their orders?” he asked.
“Are you worried about losing your precious glory?”
“That wasn’t why I asked.”
It was partly true. In the hours that had passed, he’d allowed himself to think about the victory awaiting him back home. After all, Calix never wanted to see him again, and there was no point holding on to ghosts up here. Their polity was saved. He would be greeted as a hero. His position as future archon would be guaranteed.
Perhaps he could even try to restart something with Nihal? Maybe it wasn’t too late to force something from the ashes of that inferno.
However, he did also genuinely feel for her quandary, and wondered how she would handle it.
She said nothing for a long while, before eventually whispering a single word. “Yes.”
He placed a hand on her shoulder and made to depart.
“Your Excellency?” she said, bringing him to a stop in the doorway. “That clause in the prince’s letter, that you leave Ardora, and not return?”
“Yes,” he said, the reality setting in, cold and stiff.
“That is unreasonable, and runs counter to the broader intent of the agreement. We could seek to have that removed, should you so wish?”
He gave her a faint smile. “I think the prince would be most insistent on that matter. Besides, it is better for everyone that I leave.”
“Even though you love him?”
It was Aurelius’s turn to give himself away through silence.
Was it just a guess? A part of him wanted to lie on instinct.
